“I like her too, but it’s not what you—”
“You were the one to leave me, Max,” Josie snapped. Her eyes were stinging now, damn them. She hunched her shoulders, wrapped her arms around them, trying to combat the chill that was clinging to her skin. “You left me on fucking Boxing Day after I’d…” She took a deep breath, shook her head. “Forget it. That’s not the point, that’s history.”
Max stepped toward her, his eyes dark like the clouds above them. They stared at each other for a moment, then Max took a breath. “Look, I’m sorry, I never meant to hurt you—”
Josie gave a sour laugh. “Oh, that’s rich.”
“I tried to talk to you about it!” Finally, Max erupted too, something breaking whatever control had been keeping him in check. He pulled a hand through his hair in a way that looked painful. “In New York. I tried to talk to you, to explain, and you just blew me off! And you seemed perfectly content with your new life there, I might add,” he added with a bitter tone. She only glowered. Of course she’d seemed content, hadn’t she? She was hardly going to let on how much it had hurt, seeing him there, was she?
It was then that she decided that she didn’t want to have this out after all, and turned to stalk away. He reached out, grabbed her hand, and pulled her back around almost violently. He let go immediately, like her skin burned him, and shook his head furiously. “You think this is easy for me?” His voice was quiet, but each word held a punch that went straight through her. “Wanting what I can’t have?”
The words twisted in her chest, and she looked down at the ground to hide it. “That’s a ridiculous thing to say. It’s your choice, isn’t it?” she said, before he could butt in. “All of this—it’s all on your terms.”
“In New York—”
“Screw New York. If you wanted me, then you should have tried to stay with me in the first damn place!” She was breathing too heavily now, but she couldn’t seem to slow it. “Or at least tried to stay in touch or something, instead of just abandoning me.”
Max winced, and for a moment, the fire that had flared up in her wavered. But then he spoke, and his voice was cold. “You have no idea of anything, Josie.”
And just like that, the fire burned again. “Well, no, because you don’t tell me anything, do you? I’ve given you everything, I told you everything, and you give me nothing back.” She started to turn away again, not entirely sure where she was going. “And maybe you blame me for that in some weird, twisted way, but I don’t, and I don’t think—”
For the second time that night, he reached out and grabbed her arm, pulled her to him so forcefully that the breath was knocked out of her. Their gazes locked, his eyes searching hers. Then he was kissing her, and she was responding without thinking about it. She pulled his shoulders toward her, needing more of him, and his fingers dug in at her waist. God, the taste of him. She hadn’t realized until right now how much she’d been craving it.
“Josie?” The sound of Bia’s voice catapulted them back to reality and they both sprang apart like they’d been shocked. Josie smoothed her hair as she turned to face Bia, who looked like a little fairy in the night, with the light of the keep behind her. How much had she seen? Jesus, thank God it had been Bia and not Erin.
“I’ll be right there,” Josie said, hoping that the waver in her voice was too light for Bia to notice.
“Is everything OK?” Bia’s frown was moving between Josie and Max.
“Yeah.” Josie cleared her throat. “It’s fine. Go back inside, I just need a moment. I’ll be there in a sec.”
Bia shifted her weight from one foot to the other. “Actually, I was thinking of going to bed—I’m completely knackered.”
“All right,” Josie said, as evenly as she could manage. “You go ahead, I’ll catch up with you.” Bia hesitated, but left, leaving Max and Josie alone. Josie turned to Max, and they stared at each other, eyes glinting in the darkness.
Max shook his head. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have done that.”
Something crushed around Josie’s heart, but she nodded, tight-lipped. “No. I suppose you shouldn’t have.” She took a single step away.
“Josie, wait, I didn’t mean…”
But she’d had enough. She’d had enough of half promises, of the hints and looks and goddamn mixed messages. So when she spoke her voice was a hard line. “No, Max. I’m done with this. You walked into my life, made me feel…I don’t know.” She pulled a hand through her hair. “Different. Then you walked out of it, without a second thought for my feelings. And that’s fine, whatever, if you didn’t want anything more. You could have found a nicer way to do that, but I can accept it.” She shook her head. “But what I can’t accept is this.” She gestured between them. “Is you acting like nothing’s happened, or trying to be friends, or hinting that you want something more, and I can’t…” She took a slow breath, trying to calm her voice down, wishing it didn’t sound like it was on the verge of a sob. “After this weekend, I think it’s best if we don’t see each other again.” Because what she’d realized over these last few days was that she couldn’t be friends with him—not without wanting more. So if that was what he was asking for, she wouldn’t do it. Better that he was out of her life completely, and then she’d be able to forget about him.