She knew this was true.
She glanced at him, annoyed, still chewing. It was nice to be cared about; it wasn’t so nice to be controlled.
“Then why did you ask me to move here? This is my home now, and I have to get used to all the weather and quirks that come with it.”
She thought she was doing an excellent job of defending her position, and besides, she liked her chances by herself more than she liked her chances in a group of women she’d only known for a year.
“Grant, I—”
“I already bought the ticket.” It came out in a rush and flopped between them like a dead fish. Grant was sweating, a nervous tell; Rainy studied his face, half amazed and half horrified as she tried to form words.
“What?” She caught the edge of hysteria in her own voice and cleared her throat.
“I’m sorry, Rainy, I really am.” He stared at the ceiling, a look of pain on his face.
“Spit it out,” Rainy sighed.
“They talked to me about the trip before they asked you. Two weeks before. I was so thrilled that when they sent me the links I booked your ticket right away, not even thinking to ask you.” He looked really uncomfortable now, and Rainy remembered how enthusiastic he’d been the night she came home and told him.
“I never considered that you wouldn’t want to go, I’m sorry.”
Why would they talk to Grant about it before they spoke to her? And why would he not even consider that she might not want to go? Did he not know her at all? She felt betrayed and, beyond that, annoyed. Were they checking with him for permission, or to be considerate? Either way, she didn’t like it.
“I’m an idiot. I just thought it would be good for you, but it’s really not on me to decide what’s good for you. You left everything for me in New York and, in a way, I’m trying to force you to put down roots by making friends.”
She was almost as touched by his honesty as she was upset by the weight of what he was saying. She might not have told him everything about her past, but she had explained to him who she was and what she needed.
“Grant, I’m not super into having relationships outside of my partner. It’s hard for me to trust people, and you know that.”
“I do, but I’ve known some of these people since high school. I trust them, and I want you to trust them, too.”
Rainy licked her lips. “Okay, I get that, but it can’t be on your terms, it has to be on mine.”
Grant, who had been looking more than sorry for the last five minutes, said, “I surrender. I was wrong. I’ve never felt like this about anyone before. I want to make you permanent in my life.”
You could just ask me to marry you, she thought. Something she would never say out loud, for fear it would make her sound desperate. That’s some misogynist shit right there.
Grant was obliviously happy; now that he knew he was forgiven, the relief was pooling off him. Rainy gave in because she didn’t want to fight anymore, and because it wasn’t Grant’s fault that he didn’t understand certain parts of her. He tried, but he was mostly fumbling in the dark, figuring her out by trial and error. You could just tell him. And then what? He’d see her differently if she told him about her mother and Taured.
And if she went on the trip to Vegas, would it satisfy his version of who she was supposed to be? She could tell him why she didn’t want to go to Vegas particularly, or she could just go to Vegas.
“I’ll go,” Rainy said.
Grant blinked at her like he hadn’t heard right. That made Rainy smile.
“Am I allowed to be excited?” he asked seriously. Rainy rolled her eyes, then nodded.
On the day of their flight, Rainy accidentally slept in. At ten past twelve, she tossed her carry-on into the truck’s passenger seat and raced to drop Shep off at Mr. Bean’s before setting off for the airport. They’d tried to get her to drive with them—the Tiger Mountain carpool—but she’d insisted that there wasn’t enough room for them all to sit comfortably in Ursa’s Jeep and that she’d meet them at the gate.
When she finally did make it to their gate, the plane was already boarding. The women were lingering around the gate, talking to the flight attendant, when she arrived, flustered and rosy-cheeked from her brisk walk over. Braithe embraced her in relief, while Ursa and Mac fussed over her. Tara, she noticed, glanced at her watch before reminding the girls they needed to board. High on the near-miss, they clambered down the walkway to the plane, recounting their morning to Rainy in code words and raised eyebrows. Mackenzie had had a pregnancy scare, but she’d taken a test in the airport bathroom, and no, she wasn’t, but what a morning. Their seats were all separate, and Rainy had to check her carry-on at the last minute due to lack of overhead space. But when they finally did take off, she felt oddly relaxed and ready.