She said on an exhale, “He is not my commander.”
“I should hope not. And you are not his.” Will considered her face, but instead of the kiss she was anticipating, he said, “It is a shame that he does not know the truth about me.”
“Why?”
“He thinks you merely beautiful, and rich, and unmarried. He doesn’t even know your full intellect and capabilities and what you have achieved. I am the proof.”
“That’s kind,” Angelika began, but his lips moving on her earlobe stole her breath.
“And he definitely doesn’t know what your mouth tastes like, or how you look up to your neck in bathwater. He doesn’t know how your breath catches in your throat when you’re about to come apart, and how easily you can.”
Now he bit down on her earlobe, and reality melted.
Her only thoughts were fantasies of him: the angle of Will’s thighs as she knelt between them, her reflection in the shine of his leather boot, his knuckles against her nape, his hands deep underneath her bedcovers, touching between her legs.
This hold on her ear was a reminder, and a warning: Do not notice other men when you know what I can do for you. The gentle bite he held her with now was soothed by the touch of his tongue, and when he released her, she let out a gasp that echoed around them.
“He doesn’t know you like that, does he?”
Now Will put his mouth on her throat, and every kiss on her pulse wrought more gasps, though she tried to quiet herself. She felt him inhaling deep, greedy for the scent of her body.
The doorway to the courtyard was open, and she could see a long, neat shadow.
She managed, “Only you know me.”
Will kissed her lips now, quick and desperate. His mouth opened hers, and they were pulling at each other’s shoulders. Slip of tongue, edge of tooth. His erection pressed into her stomach, and it reminded her body of how empty it was.
When they broke off their kiss, Will said, “I feel sorry for him. He’ll never know you like I do. Never.”
“But he wishes to.” She captured Will’s chin in her hand, like he had done to her. She maintained her bravery when she saw the dangerous jealousy in his eyes. “I made a promise to Lizzie. For my entire life, I’ve loved men who do not love me back. You give me such dazzling compliments that you must believe me to be worthy of admiration. So, I will allow it. You and Christopher must compete. If you do not wish to, then do not.”
Will was taken aback. “I am to compete with a successful man who knows everything about himself? Whilst simultaneously trying to find my old life? It is absolutely unfair. And as each minute passes, you notice his eligibility and are slipping away from me, just as I am from you.”
“I’m not slipping away,” Angelika said, puzzled. “You have significant advantages over him, as you have just outlined. I already love you. And you have a choice in whether to participate.”
Will appeared to be shocked. “You—love me?”
“Of course.” She watched the emotion in his eyes change. “I thought I was supremely transparent. You’ve told me that I am, several times. I loved you the moment I saw you.”
“I love you, too.”
“For how long? Forever? Just nod,” she urged. “Just lie to me.”
“For as long as I can.”
“The real you may never come back. Have you had any memories?”
He did not answer that. “You have no idea what it costs my pride when I think of what I lack, and how he is superior to me.” Will swallowed, and his entire aura dimmed. His next words seemed to slice and stick all the way up his throat. “I have talked to Victor at length. We cannot guarantee that I will be able to have children. There is no precedent. And I know that is what you want, more than anything in the world. Don’t deny it,” he said when she opened her mouth. “It is obvious, and you do not need to be ashamed. You are ready for that, and I am a catastrophically large risk for you to take.”
She stroked his jaw. “You are not a risk. You’re my love.”
He blew out a breath. “I seem to be talking myself into thinking Christopher is your better choice. If you had attended that welcome ball for him, what might have happened?”
“I would likely have taken a sunlit path, that much is true. But you found me first.”
Will was amused. “You found me dead.”
“Then we each had perfect timing. I am beginning to see that each person has multiple paths, with choices and crossroads. And for you, I will take this dark forest path. You once told me something, after you had seen both the bad and the good in me. I will tell you the same now, and I want you to listen, because it’s important.”