A fresh flood of tears accompanied her question. She wrapped her arms around his neck and pressed her forehead to his chest.
“You fell in love with me, Seychelle,” he said gently. “That’s the only thing wrong with you. The only way you know how to love is wholly. Completely. With everything in you. You gave yourself to me knowing I was a fucked-up mess. I don’t know another woman who could have done that. You came into this with your eyes wide open, but more importantly, baby, so was your heart. You turned your body over to me to be trained in the things I need.”
He brushed kisses down her temple to her ear. “I love you so much, Seychelle.” He whispered it to her. “I can’t be any different. I want to be. I was trained to be this way from the time I was a little kid. It was every day. Weeks. Months. Years. I trained girls for them. Boys. I did things to keep my brother alive. To keep the others alive. I don’t know when I crossed the line into needing this shit, but somewhere I did, and there was no going back. I never knew any other way of having sex. I didn’t know there was another way.”
Savage stroked her hair and then nuzzled the top of her head with his chin. “I can’t lose you, Seychelle, I can’t, but I’m never going to be different. I thought, when I realized how much I loved you and that it was growing every day, that maybe I could overcome those needs for your sake, but instead of them lessening, I needed them more.”
He pushed his forehead against hers as he made the confession. “The idea of putting my marks on you, of you allowing it, of wanting them there.” His lungs burned as the rush took him. “It won’t go away, baby. And with it, there’s going to be other things I thought I could give you, that you asked me for, but that we might need to talk about again.”
“I’m so scared for both of us,” Seychelle whispered. “Going down this path with you, and then if something goes wrong and I lose you . . .” She trailed off. “What if I can’t be what you need after all? What if I’m not that woman? I almost stopped you.”
“Baby, we would have stopped. You say stop, we stop. You’re so far ahead of where I thought we’d be, it’s insane. Clover clamps are for very advanced users, not beginners. I expected you to put the brakes on. I wanted you to see it would be perfectly all right and you could trust me to stop.”
He tipped her face up to his again and captured her tears. “Don’t get me wrong, it was the best fucking turn-on ever, but I would have stopped if you told me to. I’ve got to get you in a bath. Drink more water while I get that ready. I’ll cut up fruit and clean up in here while you’re soaking, and we can talk more before you go to sleep.”
SEVENTEEN
Seychelle was shocked when she saw the master bathtub. The master bathroom was enormous, with a long double sink that looked as if it was made from abalone shells. The countertop was thick and covered in a pearlescent, shimmery granite. The shower was a huge tiled room with more golden jets and a complicated overhead rack of long showerheads. She only caught glimpses of both, because he carried her down a short hallway that looked almost like they were entering a grotto.
The wide cavern was arched and made of stones, grays and blues that were soothing, but set in the stones were floating jellyfish of various colors, all lit, tentacles floating behind them. In the darkness they looked beautiful and serene. Forests of kelp seemed to float along the bottom of the stone wall, swaying slightly in rhythm with the tentacles of the jellyfish.
The tub itself was huge, the water blue and steamy. Savage lowered her gently, seating her carefully almost all the way up to her neck in the water, which clearly had some kind of bath salts in it. She felt the effects on her bottom, thighs and nipples immediately.
“There’s a cushion for your neck. Just lean back and rest. You have a bottle of water right next to your hand. I’ll get us some fruit.”
She didn’t want him to leave her, but the water was soothing, even the seat her sore bottom rested on was cushioned. She felt the padding with her neck. Part of her didn’t want to close her eyes. The bath looked like an underwater cave. It truly was beautiful. Another part of her wanted to relive the experience with Savage. It should have been terrible. She was sore. Her bottom, for certain. Not terribly sore yet, but she would be. She thought about that a lot. She’d been right on the edge, so close, the entire time he was administering his reminder to her. What did that mean?
Just thinking about how he made her feel, the sound of his voice, the shock of the strap as it laid across her skin and the heat spreading straight to her sex. Rushing like a freight train. She kept him in her mind the entire time. Savage. What he needed. What he wanted. That look on his face when he clamped her nipples. When he took her tears. So much heat. All that heat and fire belonged to her.