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As Good As Dead (A Good Girl's Guide to Murder #3)(57)

Author:Holly Jackson

Pip finally looked away from the planner page, opening her browser instead. She logged out of her account on Gmail, and then clicked sign in again.

She typed in Andie’s address [email protected] and then paused, her mouse hovering over the password box. There was no way she’d be able to guess it. She guided the mouse instead to the prompt that said Forgotten Password?

A new screen popped up, asking Pip to Enter the last password you remember. The cursor blinked in the input box, mocking her. She traced her fingers down the trackpad, skipping over the password box to the Try a different question button.

Another option blinked up on screen, offering to send a code to the recovery email address [email protected]. Pip’s stomach lurched: so, Andie did have another email address, likely her main one. The one people knew about. But Pip didn’t have access to that one either, so she couldn’t recover the verification code. Andie’s secret email address might just remain a secret forever.

But her hope wasn’t all gone yet. There was another option, another Try a different question at the bottom of the page. She clicked it, closing her eyes for a half-second, begging the machine to please please please work.

When she re-opened them, the page had changed again.

Answer the security question you added to your account: Name of first hamster?

Below it was another input box, asking Pip to Enter your answer.

That was it. There were no other options, no try again buttons on the screen. She had reached the end. Stalemate.

And how on earth was she supposed to find out the name of the Bells’ first hamster? A hamster that, presumably, existed pre-social media. She couldn’t exactly knock on their door again to ask Jason; he’d told her to leave them alone for good.

Wait a second.

Pip’s heart kicked against her chest. She grabbed her phone to check the day. It was Wednesday. Tomorrow, at 4 p.m., Becca Bell would call her from prison, like she did every Thursday.

Yes. Becca was the solution. She would know the hamster Andie had been referring to here. And Pip could ask her if she knew anything about Andie’s second email address, and why she might have needed one.

But 4 p.m. tomorrow was twenty-five hours away. Twenty-five hours felt like an entire lifetime, which it might just be. Hers. Pip didn’t know how long was left, only DT knew that, or the person pretending to be him. A race against a timer she couldn’t see. But there was nothing she could do about it except wait.

Becca would know.

And in the meantime, she could chase up the other open leads. Send a follow-up message to those ex-Green Scene employees about the security alarm. Arrange an interview with the now retired DCI Nolan. He’d replied to her email this morning saying he would be happy to discuss the DT case for her podcast. There were still things Pip could do, moves she could play against him in these next twenty-five hours.

Her hands were shaking now. Oh no. Next would come the blood, leaking from the lifelines across her palm. Not now, please not now. She needed to calm down, slow down, take a break from being inside her own head. Maybe she should go out for a run? Or… She glanced at the second drawer down in her desk. Or maybe both?

The half-pill was bitter on her tongue as she dry-swallowed it, tried to chase it down with air. Breathe, just breathe. But she couldn’t breathe because there were only two and a half pills left in the little clear bag and she needed more – she needed them, or she wouldn’t sleep at all, and if she didn’t sleep then she wouldn’t be able to think, and if she couldn’t think then she wouldn’t win.

She didn’t want to. Last time was supposed to be it, she’d promised. But she needed them now, to save herself. And then she’d never need them again. That was the deal she made as she picked up the first burner phone in the line and turned it on, the Nokia symbol lighting up the screen.

She navigated to her messages, to the only number saved in any of these phones. She sent Luke Eaton just three words: I need more.

Pip laughed at herself then, hollow and dark, as she realized this very thing in her hands was yet another link back to Andie Bell. Walking in her footsteps, six years behind. And maybe secret hidden phones weren’t the only thing she and Andie Bell would share.

Luke replied within seconds.

Last time again is it? Ill tell you when I have them.

There was a flash of rage up the skin of her neck. Pip bit down on her lower lip until it hurt, as she held down the off button and returned the phone and Luke to their secret compartment at the bottom of her drawer. Luke was wrong. This was different; this really would be the last time.

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