“Ooo, a romance blossoming?” She clasps her hands. “That’s so awesome.”
I shake my head. “It’s not going anywhere. I’m never going to resonate. How do I know he won’t resonate to you tomorrow? Or to Josie? Or Claire?”
Then I’ll be abandoned again. It’s the story of my life. Every time I meet a guy — a rare enough occasion as it is — and we start to connect, I feel obligated to point out that I can’t have children. And since I don’t put out, their interest dies. I’m not a long-term girlfriend. I’m a short, not-very-fun sort of fling until they meet the one they want to spend the rest of their lives with.
And it’s never, ever me.
This time, Megan’s sympathetic look of pity bothers me.
“It is what it is. Here,” I say, opening my pouch to turn the conversation. “I brought you herbs, Maylak.”
? ? ?
Things are quiet for several days. The humans keep themselves busy enough. Josie’s decided that she wants to learn how to cook, and Tiffany’s still working on trying to make dvisti wool into yarn of some kind. Megan is with Maylak tending to the herb plants around the caves, and Harlow is scraping skins. Claire hides with her alien boyfriend and watches the small children when the parents are busy.
Everyone’s staying busy, including me. There’s granulated salt from the ‘great salt lake’ a few days travel away, and it’s precious to everyone, so I’m trying to figure out how to salt or smoke meat to make it last longer. Food’s precious, though, so I take the unpleasant bits that people don’t like the taste of and experiment on those. Even that feels wasteful, though. One of the caches of frozen meat was buried under an avalanche and the tribe is worried that there won’t be enough food to feed everyone when it gets ‘really cold’ so we’re all in work mode. There’s extra mouths, pregnant women, and lots of clothing needed so there’s no time to be idle.
Aehako hasn’t been around lately. He’s been out hunting as well, and it’s weird, but I miss his flirting and his laughter. I tell myself that I shouldn’t, but everyone else seems to be blending in just fine with the group…except me.
I feel weirdly lonely. Maybe it’s because my closest friends all seem to have found love. I hate that I feel envy when I see Vektal feeding Georgie choice bits of meat, or the fact that Liz and Raahosh prefer to stay out in the field because it means a lot of alone time for them. I’m even envious of Ariana, because her mate Zolaya bends over backward to make her smile.
The only person I have is Aehako, and I chased him away.
The hunters have been afield all week long, and it makes the caves quiet. Nevertheless, when Aehako returns from a hunting trip with extra furs and a wink for me, it’s hard not to feel flushed with excitement. Especially when he insists on saving the furs for me to make a cloak for myself. He’s so thoughtful.
Of course, then I remember the dildo, complete right down to the veins, and get all embarrassed again.
That day, Liz and Raahosh stop by with a sled full of meat for the tribe and will stay overnight. They’ve come in at the same time as Cashol, one of the many single hunters in the sa-khui clan. I hug Liz, happy to see her. She’s utterly radiant, glowing with good health and love for her mate.
“How’s the hunting?” I ask, beaming at her. “That mate of yours keeping you fed?”
She laughs and steps to the side as Cashol slings a dead dvisti over his shoulder, bringing it into the caves for the tribe to eat. Someone directs him toward the bachelorette cave, probably because Tiffany’s trying her darndest to make something with all the dvisti wool. Liz giggles and catches my attention again. “God, yes. When we’re not fucking like bunnies, we’re eating. So much food.” She pats her belly. “Raahosh is determined to make me expand early.”
The scarred-up alien leans in and gives his mate a kiss on top of her head. “I must go say a greeting to my chief.” He heads off in Vektal’s direction.
Liz watches him go with a possessive smile, and then she turns to me. “How are you? How’s life in the crowded caves?”
“Crowded,” I agree. “We’re all stepping over each other. They’re talking about starting a second cave again in a few years, once all the babies are here.”
“They are?”
I nod. “Apparently there was a second smaller one nearby back in the day, but after the sickness everyone moved in to just the one.”