Weather conditions on the planet are not ideal. Equipment retrieval will be delayed.
That’s the only thing that comes through, but that’s all I need to hear. They’re coming back to pick things up.
And I still have a translator in my ear.
My breath rasps in terrified pants, and I cling to Aehako’s arms.
“What is it?” He touches my chin. “Kira?”
They’re going to find me. They’re going to find me and because the translator won’t come out of my ear, they’re going to take me back with them. Oh God. I swallow back a sob.
“Surely the thought of visiting my cave is not so terrible as that?” His voice is teasing and sweet, and anchors me back to this place. I cling to his arms, gripping him tight.
I can’t tell anyone about this. The others will panic. My mind is whirling. If they’re coming after the translator earpiece, maybe I shouldn’t be at the caves.
My thoughts are so far away that when he leans in to kiss me again, I automatically draw away from him.
His expression darkens. “Is it me, then? Do you not want my attentions?”
“I…it’s just…complicated.” I shake my head at him. “I think I’m going to go sit by the fire, all right?”
Maybe if I’m surrounded by all the others, their happy voices will drown out the fear surging through me.
AEHAKO
Something’s wrong. I watch as Kira gets up and woodenly approaches the central fire pit. She has a wan smile on her face for the others. And even though she sits with them, I sense her thoughts are not in the cave, or with anyone in particular. She is distant, staring into the fire, and the troubled crease has returned to her brow.
Perhaps it is me after all. Perhaps my attempts to court her unsettle her. Frustrated, I get to my feet and return the paint to Farli. The celebration no longer holds any joy for me. I watch Kira for a few moments more, and even though she smiles and talks to the others, it is clear to me that she is distracted and unhappy.
Never before have I been turned down by a woman I have approached. I’ve shared furs with both women my age, and both were eager for my attentions until they found their own mates. My own mother refers to me as a charmer. Yet this one small human with the sad eyes cannot wait to get away from me.
Troubled, I hand Farli my skin of sah-sah and head off to my furs. I’ve moved back in with my mother and father and my brothers since there is so little room in the caves. I don’t mind – it’s not as if I have a mate, though I’d gladly find a quiet spot and share pleasure with Kira.
When I get to my furs, though, they’re already occupied. Asha is there, and curls a finger at me, urging me forward. This is not what I needed tonight. Weary, I scrub my face with my hand, smearing the paint Farli worked so hard on. “Why are you here, Asha?”
“Everyone is at the celebration,” she says, breathless. Her hand strokes over my bed. “Come and join me. I’ve missed you.”
I shake my head. “Go find your mate, Asha. I want no company tonight.” It’s a lie, of course – if Kira showed up in the next moment, I’d gladly take her into my furs. But Asha has a mate, and I’m repulsed by her careless attitude toward him.
“I don’t want him,” she says, pouting. “I want you.”
“I don’t want you,” I say as gently as possible. Asha is an old friend, for all that she is determined to make me miserable now. “Our khuis will never unite, Asha. Stop seeking the past.”
She stands up and straightens her leather dress, glaring at me. “That human won’t have you either, Aehako. Best take your pleasure where you can.”
I ignore her as she leaves. I hate that she’s right.
? ? ?
The next morning, I watch Kira as I sit down in the central cavern and work on my carving. I am making a toy for Esha, who is getting to an age where she is into all her mother’s herbs and needs something to distract her. When Farli was little, I made her bone rings, linked through careful carving, and she enjoyed the rattling sound. I will do the same for Esha. I take one of the long dvisti thigh bones and start working on it. Making a rattling chain for a kit involves a lot of hollowing, and it allows me to sit quietly and watch the humans in the cavern.
One in particular always has my attention. Kira is seated near the banked fire this morning. That she is not in her cave tells me she is looking for someone. That she does not approach me stings, but I’m curious to see who she is waiting for. She looks tired, circles under her eyes, and the colorful, playful streaks I painted on her face last night are gone. Two other humans sit with her, chatting, but she is distant.