The next night, HanChol waited anxiously outside the theater, not knowing if she’d be there. Months before, Jade had once alluded to Lotus’s lover, who either had his chauffeur pick her up or himself drove her home in a black car. There was no reason to think Jade wouldn’t also be able to secure a lover like that. Some rich man had to want her as a mistress or as a second wife—perhaps even as a legal first wife. All Seoul had admired her in The Story of ChunHyang, and her photographs had been in the newspapers and the magazines. And even if he had flattered and intrigued her, he was hardly in a position to start anything with a woman—not even a suitably innocent and hardworking girl, let alone an actress.
As he reflected, the side exit opened and Jade came out, her whole body seemingly looking for him only. The streetlamp cast its light from her left, shimmering on her small but shapely forehead, the tops of her glossy eyelids, the bridge of her nose, and her left cheekbone, leaving the right side of her face under a shadow. When she found him, she lit up with a smile, and it was like when the sky turned pink before the sun rose. She looked not just beautiful, but vitally significant—full of mysterious meaning like the songs of nocturnal birds. He forgot all his inner arguments; instead he could only think about embracing her.
16
Because You Were You, Standing There
1928
OVER THE MONTHS, LOTUS HAD LEARNED THAT PRESIDENT MA DIDN’T act the same way normal people did. He let his feelings be known: once at a restaurant, he’d forced the chef to remake the entire spread of twelve dishes because in one of them he’d tasted onions, to which he was allergic. For this reason, Lotus had been anxious about telling him her news. She waited until he was in a particularly good mood one night following the signing of a deal—a purchase of a lucrative factory in KaeSong.
“It’s a huge win. One of only a few chemical manufacturers in the country. I’m going to go up there on Friday,” he said, his hands on the steering wheel. He’d picked her up after her performance and they were parked near her house. “You should come with me. It would be a nice drive out in the country.” He paused, noticing her silence. “Why, what’s the matter?”
“I’m pregnant,” Lotus blurted out, hiding her face in her hands. For a while, neither of them said anything. Then she felt him take her left wrist and slowly lower it down.
“Look at me,” he said matter-of-factly. “Are you sure?”
Lotus nodded through the hot tears streaming down her face, clutching her still-flat abdomen.
“You can’t keep living at your aunt’s. I’ll have to find you your own house. And a maid and a housekeeper. You’ll be comfortable. But why are you crying?” he said.
“I thought you’d be angry with me.” She sobbed, nostrils flaring. At that, President Ma laughed out loud.
“Angry? I’ve never been less angry in my life,” he said, kissing the top of her head. “I might finally get a son.”
The next morning, Lotus told the family at breakfast that she would soon be moving out. But she didn’t tell them her news, basking in the power of withholding a secret. If she was being honest with herself, she could admit that she was primarily hiding it from Jade. Some irreconcilable awkwardness had entered into their relationship ever since Lotus joined the Grand Oriental Cinema, and while they still smiled at each other and exchanged pleasantries, they both acutely felt the impossibility of being frank with one another. Lotus believed that their present iciness was caused by Jade’s jealousy. Now that Lotus was the star of the most prestigious theater in Seoul, and mistress to one of its wealthiest businessmen, Jade was insincere and cold, and not genuinely happy as she ought to be. On the other hand, Jade believed that their relationship was strained because Lotus had hidden her decision to move to a different theater, not even telling her almost until the last day. How could Lotus believe that Jade, her own best friend, would stand in the way of her success and happiness?
On the day of the move, Dani, Luna, and Jade helped Lotus carry the trunks of clothes to the car.
“This is a lot more than what you brought here, ten years ago,” Dani joked, pretending to grimace under the weight of the package. “My arms feel like they’re going to fall off.” Still, it was she who had insisted on helping instead of leaving it to the maids. When everything had been stuffed inside the trunk and the backseat, Dani took Lotus’s face in her hands as if she were still a child.
“You’re my cousin’s daughter, so we are five degrees apart. But I’ve always treated you as if you were my own daughter. We were a family, together in this house for ten years, eh?” She had no trace of tears in her eyes, but her voice quaked.