went outside and threw up behind a wheelie bin. Alice was lying in bed by then, reading over the messages Felix had sent earlier, the screen of her phone casting a greyish-blue light over her face. Felix took out his phone at the same moment and opened the messages app.
Felix: Hey
Felix: You up?
Alice: in bed but awake
Alice: having fun?
Felix: Ill be honest alice
Felix: I m yipped out of my tree
Felix: And I did haveto throw up
Felix: But yea good night so far
Alice: well, I’m glad
Felix: What are u doign in bed
Felix: Weairng anything or?
Felix: Describe
Alice: I’m wearing a white nightdress
Alice: I hope we can see each other tomorrow Felix: Yeahhhh or
Felix: I cojld get a taxi back to yours
Felix: Now I mnea
Felix: Mean
Alice: if you want, of course
Felix: Yea are you sure?
Alice: I’m awake anyway, I don’t mind
Felix: Cool
Felix: See u soon
She got out of bed and put on her dressing gown, turned on a bedside lamp and looked at herself in the mirror. Felix called the taxi company, went back inside, got his jacket, ordered another shot of vodka, swilled it around in his mouth, swallowed, found Brian and told him to tell the others he was heading off, and then went to get in the taxi. Alice opened his profile on the dating app where they’d first met, and read his bio note again.
On the way out to her house, Felix was having an involved conversation with the taxi driver about the relative strengths and weaknesses of the current Mayo GAA side.
When Felix pointed out the house, the driver asked if his parents lived there.
Nah, it’s my bird’s place, said Felix.
In an amused tone of voice, the driver replied: Must be a rich lady.
Yeah, and she’s famous. You can Google her. She writes books.
Oh yeah? You’d better keep a hold of her.
Don’t worry, she’s fairly keen on me, Felix said.
They pulled into the driveway then. Turning around, the driver said: She’d want to be, letting you knock on her door at two in the morning. State you’re in. I wouldn’t be surprised if you’re calling me again in a few minutes when she’s had a look at you. Ten euro eighty, please.
Felix handed over the money.
Do you want me to wait? asked the driver.
Don’t be jealous now, good lad. You go away and enjoy your Lyric FM.
He got out of the car and knocked on the door. Alice came downstairs to answer it as the taxi was pulling out of the gate. Felix came inside, kicked the door shut, and put his arms around Alice, lifting her up a little and pressing her back against the wall. They kissed for a while and then he untied the sash of her dressing gown. She held it shut with one hand.
Oh, you are drunk, she said.
I know, yeah. I said that in the messages.
He tried to open her dressing gown again and she folded her arms tightly to prevent him.
Here, what’s the problem? he said. Are you on your period or something? I don’t care if you are, I’m a grown-up.
Alice retied her dressing gown grimly and said: You’re trying to embarrass me.
No, no. I’m just wondering what’s the matter. I’m not trying anything, I’m happy to be here. The taxi driver was very impressed I had a girlfriend who lived in such a big house.
Alice looked up at him and finally said: Are you on drugs?
God yeah, he said. Wouldn’t be much of a night out if I wasn’t.
She stood there with her arms folded. I don’t know, she said. Would other people let you behave like this? Other girlfriends or boyfriends you’ve had. Is this normal? You go out with your friends and get hammered and then show up in the middle of the night looking for sex?
He seemed to consider this, leaning his arm against the wall beside her head. I would often give it a go, yeah, he said. Not everyone would be up for it, obviously.
Right. You must think I’m a complete fucking idiot.
No, I think you’re highly intelligent. It’s not lucky for you, in a lot of ways. If you were a little bit stupider you might have an easier life.
He stood up straight and put his hands on her hips, in a way that seemed to convey fondness and even contrition.
The taxi driver told me you were going to fuck me out of it, Felix said. He told me, no way is she going to let you call around at this hour of the night looking like that. What I look like, I don’t actually know, I haven’t seen myself. But I can imagine not good.
You just look drunk.
Ah, do I? I don’t know, I suppose I shouldn’t have texted you. The stupid thing is, I was actually having a good night. I mean, okay, I went a bit overboard getting sick, but I was having a good time other than that. And you were probably having a fine time as well, lying in bed or whatever. So I shouldn’t have texted you really.