So why does this kiss feel like that’s a lie?
Why does it make me believe in the impossible? That deep inside my cold-hearted husband lies a heart that beats to the tune of my name?
“Be here with me, acushla. Be here with me,” he whispers in between breaths, kissing me like his lips are the window to his soul’s desire.
I push all deprecating thoughts away and do as he commands. I commit myself to this one moment and let myself believe the beautiful lie his lips imprint on mine. I feel my core clench around him, needing to trap him inside so that he can fill all the hollow places that dwell in my soul from the lack of his love.
“Tiernan,” I whisper again, only this time it feels like an admission of my love for him.
He looks into my eyes, his green one softening so much I almost believe that this is real. And as I lap that lie up and nurture it in my heart, hoping one day it will blossom into the truth, I cum hard on his impaling cock, shuddering profusely as the orgasm wrecks my body.
“FUCK!” Tiernan shouts, pushing me inches away from his lap so that he can cum on my stomach.
Sadness, more than bitter disappointment, cuts through the moment of bliss I just experienced, tearing it up into tiny pieces of confetti. I pull off his lap and cover myself with the sofa’s blanket, trying everything in my power not to come undone and cry in front of him. His forehead wrinkles in confusion as he stares at me while tucking himself back into his jeans.
“Why?” I utter, my voice thick with despair.
“Why what?” he counters, reaching his arm to pull me closer, but I just inch further away from him.
“Why is the idea of having a baby with me so repulsive to you?”
His features instantly harden to stone, his demeanor closing off to me.
“This is what you want to talk about? Now?”
“Why not? You never gave me a reason.”
“That’s because I don’t need to.”
I shake my head.
“No. I will not let you bully me into submission. I’ve earned the right to know. Tell me.”
“You’ve earned nothing,” he growls, getting up from his seat to walk away.
“Don’t you dare walk out on me, Tiernan Kelly!” I shout, getting up to my feet, the blanket pooling on the ground.
His gaze scans my naked body, focusing on the cum on my belly and the bruises his digits left on my hips.
“I don’t want to talk about this now.”
“You don’t want to talk about this ever!” I yell in outrage. “But I deserve to know. I deserve to know why you would rather have me bear another man’s child than your own. Tell me.”
His lips curl into a snarl that sends a cold chill down my spine, making me very aware of how vulnerable I am in front of him.
“I could never father a child I knew from the start I would hate. Does that satisfy your curiosity? The mere idea of you pregnant with my child in your belly disgusts me. I would rather have my cock torn right off than ever let that happen.”
His callous, cruel words take the air out of my sails, making my legs crumble from underneath me and having me fall to the floor.
“You can’t mean that.” I shake my head, trying to push his words out by force.
“I mean every word. I’ll indulge you in this fantasy of being the mother to the next Kelly line, but that is as far as my participation in it goes. Your tears will never change my mind or how I feel. I’m sorry if I ever gave you any inclination you could change my mind on that front. It wasn’t purposely meant.”
“You’re sorry? You’re sorry?!”
“Believe me that apologizing for anything, especially something I feel so strongly against, isn’t done lightly. If ever. Take that as your win, wife, and be content in the small victory.”
“Only you would see this as a victory,” I seethe as hot tears run down my cheeks.
“It’s the only one I can give you.” He frowns, his hands fisting and releasing at his sides. “I’ll call Shay and Colin in the morning. You’ll have the life you want. I just won’t be a part of it.”
And with those words carving my chest and making me bleed onto his Persian rug, he turns his back on me and walks away.
Chapter 20
Shay
When Colin and I arrive at The Avalon, it’s hard to keep our feelings in check. My brother has kept Rosa from us going on a fortnight now, and time spent without her gracing my days has been utter torture. The way Colin is standing stiff beside me, staring daggers at each elevator button lighting up that isn’t our floor, tells me he’s just as antsy as I am.