They had just stopped seeing each other when Jimmy was killed in a country bus accident. Jimmy and some other lads had been clinging to the outside of the bus as it drove off. As the vehicle barreled along a pocked and dusty road flanked by sugar cane fields, Jimmy lost his grip and fell. Bunny understood then that she had felt a kind of love for Jimmy, even though she could never have been his wife. There were different ways to love a person, and losing someone you cared for still hurt. That hurt made her more certain of how she needed to live.
By the time Bunny realized that the problem with her thickening middle was not the food she was eating but an advancing pregnancy, she and Patsy were preparing to leave for England together and arranging for Patsy’s brother, still a young child, to join them when the time came. Patsy had made it clear from the start that she had promised her pops, the only parent left, that she would take care of him, and Patsy’s loyalty had drawn Bunny even closer.
Back then, it was normal for two single women to live together. Back then, it was even expected. Back then, it was easy to let neighborly gossip spread the word that your new baby’s father had died back in the islands. And here you were now, faced with navigating a new life abroad on your own. And wasn’t it fortunate that you, at least, had a roommate from the same country to keep an eye on you?
“You what?” Bunny’s new coach said, when she told him. He had been the one to arrange her move to England.
“How do you think you’re going to manage to train, between a child and a job?” Coach said. His face softened now. “You’re not going to let me down, are you, Bunny?” He was staking his reputation on this young talent he’d brought over.
“No, sir,” Bunny said.
“And pick up your head, young lady. What kind of champion lets her head hang down like a piece of fruit?”
Bunny laughed.
“That’s more like it.” Coach stepped in closer so that Bunny, tall as she was, had to tilt her face down again to look him in the eyes.
“There are a lot of people counting on you, Bunny, you hear? But the only thing that really matters is you, and whether you can count on yourself when you’re out there. This is no joke. That Channel will shred you to pieces if you don’t treat it with respect.”
“Yes, sir.”
There were others waiting to put their support behind Bunny, people who were charmed by the distance swimmer from the islands, despite the times, despite the rising tensions between residents and immigrants over housing and other privileges. Despite her dark skin. Because they saw that Bunny’s freakish talent and stunning smile would surely add luster to the image of the Commonwealth.
But first, there would be those iron-colored waves to conquer, colder than anything that Bunny had ever experienced, that anomalous drift that kept pulling her off course, the nausea, plenty of nausea, and the deep despair that struck Bunny at times, when she wasn’t sure if she could manage the Channel crossing, all the while knowing that she was not fit to live any other life.
Bright Future
The new Eleanor Douglas had finally stopped looking over her shoulder wherever she went, afraid of being recognized by someone. Her new job was near the port in Edinburgh and her room in a bedsit was not far from the water. She was still walking with a limp when she arrived and she felt that the sea air did her good, even though the water there was so cold, she doubted she could ever swim in it.
Her supervisor at the trading company had been quite supportive. He’d given her a day to settle into her lodgings and learn the bus route. The other clerical workers looked at her shyly, spoke softly, at first. They would have heard her story, she imagined. How she had survived a train crash. How she had lost a friend in the same accident.
This new city was, like London, a jumble of traffic with oversized buses and gray streets and mostly pink-faced people, but it was different, too. There were bursts of color among the buildings. There was that broad, low hill that looked like a huge, green wad of discarded bread. There was that big castle up on a rise, what a place! But there was also a yawning sense of loss, the absence of everyone and everything that had been cut out of her life. She tried not to think of Gibbs and when she did, she whimpered herself to sleep.
Eleanor’s new supervisor told her that she was off to a good start. He said that she was a capable woman, not to mention a very beautiful one. He stayed late at the office to show her the bookkeeping routine. He told her that this would allow her to advance in her position. He told her that she had a bright future ahead of her. And after a while, Eleanor allowed herself to believe it.