I nodded. “I know it might not make sense to you, but she’s… she’s done so much for me, given up so much…”
“I understand more than you’d think,” Holden said, his stare severe where it held mine. But he didn’t elaborate before he added, “I get it. She’s your mom. She raised you. But, man… she’s the parent. She’s supposed to do that.”
I frowned. “Okay… so?”
“So, you’re the kid. You’re her son. And as much as you love her and want to help her, she’s an adult who needs to first help herself.”
“But she can’t. Not without me.”
“Yes, she can,” Riley said. “Your mom made a lot of choices that got her here. And I know you feel like you need to fix it for her, but if she doesn’t have to do the work herself?” Riley shrugged. “How is she ever really going to learn the lesson and grow?”
“This is not your battle,” Zeke added. “We are all for you helping your mom if rehab is what she needs, and we’ll figure out a way to get her there. But this? Accepting money from Cory in exchange for giving up the girl who’s made you happier than we’ve ever seen you?” He shook his head. “That’s not the answer.”
“But what else can I do?” I asked, throwing my hands up. “I already took out a loan. I can’t just keep doing that. My dad won’t help. And I don’t want to enter the draft early.”
“That’s not happening,” Holden said, as if it wasn’t even an option to consider. Zeke’s equally stern glare told me he felt the same.
“We will figure it out. Just give us some time to think,” Riley said. “And until then, your mom is an adult. She can take care of herself — the catch is, you have to let her. You have to take the crutch away and show her that she doesn’t need it. She can walk on her own.”
“And if she doesn’t? If she falls?”
Zeke looked at Riley and then back at me. “She’ll get back up. That’s what we all do — we get back up, and we try again.”
I shook my head, even as their words started to clear the fog in my head. “I already accepted that check from Cory. Mom cashed it. She’s in rehab on his dime. And he… he cares about us,” I said, not realizing how much that hurt until the words were out. “In his own fucked-up way, this is him showing that.”
“This is him getting what he wants,” Riley argued. Zeke gave her a pointed look that made her zip her lips shut, though I could tell by how red her cheeks were that it was an effort to keep from saying more.
“Tell him you appreciate his help and his offer, but that you’ve changed your mind,” Holden said calmly. “And if he takes the money back and she has to go back home? Again, we’ll figure it out.”
“And by the way, I know she hurt you in the past, but none of this is fair to Maliyah,” Riley added, unable to stay quiet any longer. “You and Cory are a lot alike, I can see that just from what you’ve told us. You both want to help people you love. But this isn’t the way to do it.” She shrugged. “Your mom is hurting. So is Maliyah. They’re probably regretting decisions they’ve made that led to where they are now. But that doesn’t mean you take it on you to fix it all and make everything better — because that only leaves them feeling emptier.”
“So what am I supposed to do then?” I challenged.
“Just be there for her,” Riley said, shaking her head as a smile curled on her lips. “Tell your mom you love her and you understand. Listen to her when she needs it. Support her when she asks for your advice. When she decides what she wants to do next, offer whatever help you can within your physical, emotional, mental, and financial means.”
“Love her through the hard time while reminding her it won’t last forever,” Holden added, and again, there was something so solemn in his gaze that I wondered if he was speaking from experience, from a lesson he’d learned himself.
“You have a right to be happy, Clay,” Riley said softly. “And you do not have to bear everyone else’s burdens. You’ve done enough of that.”
I swallowed, head falling back as I looked up at the showerhead. “I don’t want to hurt her.”
“She’s your mom,” Zeke said instantly. “If anything, she will be proud of you for setting boundaries. She wants the best for you, too. And she will be okay, man. I promise.”