“I don’t begrudge you,” I finally said, calmer. “I love you. I understand. I know how Mom can be… a lot,” I confessed. “And I know she wasn’t the right woman for you. But she needs help, Dad, and I can’t do it on my own.”
He blew out a sigh. “Let me guess — her fling of the week left her and now she’s a mess.”
“They were dating for months,” I clarified. “But yes. And he was taking care of her, and now she has no job and is surviving off what little money I can afford to send home.”
“Well, whose fault is that? She did this to herself.”
I shook my head. “She never knew this would be her life, Dad. It was supposed to be you taking care of her. You knew when you met her that she didn’t even graduate from high school. She never wanted a career. She wanted a family.” I paused. “She wanted you.”
“What she wanted was to gaslight me and control me and belittle me until I lost myself,” he barked at me. “Something you should know a little bit about after dating Maliyah, I’d imagine.”
My jaw tightened. “Don’t talk about her like you know her.”
“I might not have been there through everything, but I know that girl. I know her father. And I know enough to tell you that you’re a momma’s boy through and through, because you were even looking for her in the girl you wanted to marry.” He scoffed. “Thank God you dodged that bullet.”
Something about his words stung, not because they were an insult, but because there was truth in them — truth I didn’t want to see or admit to.
“At least Maliyah has a father who actively participates in her life,” I spat back. “In my life. You know, he flew across the country to watch me play. He was here for the last home game. And guess who can’t say the same?”
My nose flared, and I ignored the part of my brain that reminded me that he hadn’t technically come for me. He’d come for Maliyah, and I was just there.
But Dad didn’t need to know that.
“I wish you were more like Cory,” I said, voice low.
Dad almost laughed. “I don’t want to be anything like that man.”
“Yeah. I can tell.”
There was a frustrated breath on the other end, and I pinched the bridge of my nose, shaking my head.
“Mom is broke,” I ground through my teeth, getting back to the reason I called. “I have sent all that I can. Dad, please. I’m begging you. Please help her. Just until she can get back on her feet.”
“She never will if she gets a handout from me or you or anyone else, Clay.”
I scrubbed a hand over my face. “Unbelievable.”
“Look, you can call me an asshole and think I’m evil if that’s the picture you want to paint. But let me tell you the truth, son — she is an addict. She has been for years. She finds a man who can take care of her and give her all the drugs she wants and she’s happy. The second he’s gone, she’s destructive. She doesn’t have it in her to work for herself.”
“Like hell she doesn’t!” I screamed. “She raised me! She raised me — not you. She was there, every night, cooking dinner for me using whatever we had in the pantry even when it wasn’t much, all after working all day — sometimes double shifts.”
“And how do you think she had the energy to do that, hmm? Why do you think there was barely any food in the house, yet she always had money for what she needed to get by?”
I ignored the insinuation, even though my throat stung with the possibility that he was right. “You’re a monster,” I breathed. “You’re selfish and you can’t think of anyone but yourself. You never have.”
“I used to be just like you,” he shouted over me. “I used to bend over backward for her and everyone else in my life. But one day, it was too much. I didn’t want to be the fucking rug everyone stepped on anymore. And trust me, you’ll get there, too. Or, at least, I hope you do. Because living a life where what you put in isn’t reciprocated is no life at all.”
I shook my head, tuning out most of his lecture. “So, you won’t help.” It wasn’t a question. It was a fact, one I knew before I made the call.
“It wouldn’t be help. It would be enabling. And no, I won’t do that.”
I swallowed the knives in my throat, nose flaring. “So what am I supposed to do?”
“You are supposed to play football,” he said, his voice calmer now. “And get your degree. Date pretty girls and get into trouble with your friends. Be a kid, for Christ’s sake. Your mom is a grown woman. She can take care of herself.”