No argument from me there, though I don’t really want to deal with half the people coming to the table anymore.
The Benson kids and Felix Davenport have moved into Draven mansion with us. While there’s a part of me that takes great pride in caring for my Bonded’s closest friends in her absence, there’s a part of me who resents having them here while she’s gone. Salt in the wounds of her being taken from me again while we’re stuck here, sitting on our goddamned hands, because they’re not in any of the known camps.
When Atlas handed me her GPS chip, I wanted to strangle the life out of him with my bare hands. That feeling had only gotten worse when Gabe had debriefed us fully on how much Atlas really knew about her… right up until Gabe got to the part about Noakes’ treachery.
North also didn’t take it well.
He hasn’t taken any of this well, and the more information we get about Oli’s time with the Resistance, the closer to losing control I see him getting. It’s been a very long time since I’ve seen him this close to the edge. The last thing that set him off, well, no one blamed him for losing it on his brother’s behalf like that.
I certainly didn’t.
With every day that she’s gone, we’re all starting to unravel. I’d thought it was bad the first time around, but back then, we’d lost the idea of a Bond. The hopes and dreams we’d all had about her, not the girl herself.
Losing the real, flesh and blood Oleander Fallows is like dying a death of a thousand tiny cuts.
Hearing her voice in my head had almost brought me to my goddamned knees in the middle of a debrief with the TacTeam we’d left behind, Team Delta, who had one fucking job. That was to keep her safe. The fact that she’d given me absolutely nothing to go on is both infuriating and completely expected. I’d had to point out to North that she survived in those camps as a fourteen-year-old for two years. We need to stop with the bullshit and just… trust her. For a few days, while we use every goddamned resource at our disposal to find her and bring her the fuck home.
We don’t really have much choice about it. The moment I’d done what she’d asked and spoken directly to Kieran, Oli had blocked me back out. I’d been frustrated until North had pointed out the obvious.
“There are a lot of Gifted who can pick up on that sort of communication. She’s keeping herself safe. She’s keeping you both safe.”
It’s the only level-headed thing I’ve heard him say about this entire fucking mess, and it gives me just a little bit of hope for the two of them, that maybe they’ll figure their shit out when we have her back.
When.
There are no ifs here.
When we get to the dining room, Nox is already there. His nose is still buried in a textbook as old as the Draven bloodline itself, the way it has been since he found out about Oli’s gift. I knew he’d be this way, that he’d research and track every little part of her power until he’s absolutely sure of what we’re dealing with.
I wish him good luck, because I’ve never heard of a Soul Render like her before.
We take our usual seats and start to fill our plates, the usual spread laid out with fish and lobster as though my Bonded were still here to enjoy it. I fill my plate with it just to feel some sort of connection to her, like a fucking sap, but no one says a word to me about it.
When the doors open again and Gabe joins us, he looks as though he’s been dragged through the mud. There are dark circles under his eyes and some streaks of blood down his throat and chest, peeking through the holes in his shirt. He’s been down at the shifter fight clubs again, biding his time and working some of the frustration out, but he’s obviously getting sloppy with his wins.
I don’t mince my words. “You look like shit.”
He shrugs and slides into his usual seat, his brows tugging together as he glances at Oli’s empty seat. When he scrubs a hand over his face, his knuckles are bloodied and dirty too. “I don’t give a shit.”
There isn’t a whole lot of information that can be found at the shifter fight club, but if it’s keeping him out of trouble and getting some of the aggression out of his system, then I’m all for it. There’s not a huge amount he can do for the search here until we have a location.
Then, we’ll all be going after our Bond and killing anyone responsible for keeping her away from us.
As the door to the kitchen opens, the others arrive for dinner. Sawyer walks into the room with a laptop open in his hands, his eyes glowing white as he works through the very classified and incredibly above his clearance-level data that North has him working through. Sage and Felix follow behind him, both of them looking exhausted and frazzled. It seems no one in the house is sleeping well. That’s also soothing somehow, that we’re all a little lost without my Soul Render Bonded.