I know better than to end up here again, and yet I walked right in here after that woman, so I’ll be damned if I’m going to sell her out to save myself a little pain. “I know nothing. I’m still the same little stupid girl you had here last time, so you really shouldn’t bother with all of this. It’s a waste of time.”
The first press of the knife to my skin doesn’t actually break it, it’s more of a warning that he doesn’t appreciate my tone, and he snaps, “I saw you hand her something in the showers. The camera didn’t pick up on what it was that you gave her, but you will tell me. Whatever you’ve done while you’ve been gone, whatever you’ve become, you’ll never be stronger than I am. If you don’t tell me what it was that you gave her, I will bring her here, and I will do everything to her that I’ve done to you, little Render. You’ll repay that woman’s kindness with pain and a slow death.”
Nothingness.
Hold on to the nothingness because it’s much harder to stay blank when there are other people in this stupid fucking hellhole who I want to protect, but if he brings Kyrie here, then I’ll find a new plan.
There’s always a way through this.
He clicks his tongue at me like he’s disappointed and pulls the knife away from my skin. His favorite form of torture is edging, and I loathe him for it. I’d rather he just freaking stabbed me already.
He steps back over to his tools and puts the carving knife down, fussing with the handles again as he says, “Cold little Render, I should’ve known you wouldn’t care that much about some useless woman. But what about your Bond, hm? I can heal him. Let your bond out to play with me now, answer the questions I have, and I’ll heal your Bond. He’s starting to look a little green over there. Linda and Zarah said the wound over the break is looking infected too. Blood infections can move quickly, you know.”
I can go back to ignoring him, because there’s no way he’ll let Kieran die right now. He’s spent too long trying to find my Bonds. He’d never let one die without experimentation first. It’s the whole reason I lied in the first place.
Davies sighs, making a big show of it, as though I’m an unruly school child he’s being forced to deal with. Then he straightens back up, finally selecting a new knife from his tool desk as he runs a hand down the side of it lovingly.
My heart starts to beat a little faster, panic slowly working its way down my spine, and I have to start focusing on my breathing to stop myself from hyperventilating.
Be blank, Oli. Be nothing.
He leans over me again to murmur right in my face, “I already know you won’t break so easily, Render. I’m just making sure your Bond knows it too. Let’s see how long it takes me to break him though, shall we?”
The moment the knife touches my skin, I start to disassociate. My bond creeps up to the forefront of my brain, ever watching what’s happening and waiting for the right moment to step in for me, but simple cuts are easy enough to block out. When Davies really starts to get creative with his slicing, my leg begins to shake involuntarily and a pool of sweat starts on my lower back. I can almost keep it blocked out, almost, until he starts cutting off my pants and working his way up the sensitive skin of my thighs.
My control slips for a second and my body is instantly flooding with Gryphon, his bond reaching out to me and breaking down the last of my barriers in a single sweep, and his voice is booming in my head.
WHAT IS HAPPENING?!
I watch as Davies’ eyes flash wide and I slam my barriers back up, cursing myself a thousand times over for slipping and letting my Bonded in. One split second and I’ve ruined everything that I’ve spent five years guarding and protecting with my goddamn life.
Fingers as cold as ice and spattered with droplets of my blood trail over my cheek, leaving behind a red trail as Davies leans down to whisper to me, his lips touching the rim of my ear, “And who was that, my precious little Soul Render?”
Two years.
I was a prisoner in one of these camps for two whole years, and not once did I so much as think their names. I knew them, oh my God did I know their names. The moment I’d woken up in that hospital with Nurse June standing over my bed with teary eyes and a file tucked under her arm, I’d memorized their names. I remember thinking how scary it was that North was almost a decade older than I was. The five years between me and Gryphon and Nox seemed like so much as well. I wanted so badly to know Gabe and Atlas because they were only a few months older than me, and I wanted friendship until we were old enough to Bond.