Wait, that sounds fucking amazing. A little frustrating, but if that isn’t our relationship so far down to a T, nothing is. I want so badly to say yes to him and just spend the night getting lost in him, but there’s still something there.
Something holding me back.
My legs can’t help but part as he slides in closer, his eyelids dropping down a little so that he’s practically smoldering at me. “Do you want this? Stop overthinking it and answer me.”
“Of course I want it—”
“Then Bond or don’t. I’m not waiting to taste you any longer. If you’re hesitating about the power exchange, then just don’t do it. I’m not waiting.”
I open my mouth to argue with him, because it’s not that easy, but he tugs my thighs forward until I’m balancing somewhere between my elbows and his shoulders. He moves like he’s about to eat me out, and I have one last stupid thing rushing around my head that won’t let me enjoy this moment.
“Wait! Wait one second. I need something first, just one thing.”
He scowls at me, stopping the second I’d spoken, but not moving away from where he’s got me balanced.
“Whatever it is, you’re sure it can’t wait? I’m not entirely above begging, Bond.”
Interesting.
I attempt to sound confident. “Your bond is like mine, right? It’s… more than the others. It’s not just a force inside you. It’s a living thing, right?”
The scowl grows on his face and he gives me the tiniest of nods, the smallest gesture, and I plow onwards like this is all fine and I’m not freaking out about even asking this. “Let me talk to it. There’s something I want to ask it, and then we can… I mean, I think I want to Bond after. Properly. We can save the edging for later.”
I think it’s the mention of actually Bonding that gets him to agree because he’s already shaking his head until that part slips out of me. I’m not bribing him, not exactly, because if he says no, I think I might still be Bonding with him tonight, but I have to at least try.
He carefully moves me back onto the countertop, gently and mindful of my thigh, and then he takes a step away, as if putting distance between us again will stop his bond from hurting me or attempting to approach me.
As if a single step away is all it will take to keep me safe.
“If it tries to bond with you, kill me. Or get Gryphon to knock me out. You can still contact him, can’t you?”
I pull a face at him. “I think I’ll lead with knocking you out. No need to kill you over a little bit of sex, North.”
He raises an eyebrow at my sass and blows out a breath, muttering about how much of a bad idea this is, but after a minute, his eyes shift into the voids.
All emotions and humanness wipes clean from his face until there’s nothing but the bond left behind.
It might happen to me on occasion, but it’s still weird to see it like this. It’s kind of hot though, especially the way it immediately fixates on me and rakes over every inch of my bare skin like a branding possession.
I like that a whole lot.
It takes a step forward, and I hold up a palm to stop it, surprised when that’s all it takes to slow it down. Fuck, if only my bond were that obedient.
“One second! I need to ask you something, really quickly. I promise.”
I sound like an idiot, but it doesn’t notice, or care, and it just continues to stare at me like I’m so freaking fascinating.
“The creatures, they come from you, don’t they?”
He nods and lifts a palm up as though he’s about to summon them, and while I’d love nothing more than to check in with my baby August again, I know North will have a freaking aneurysm over it, so I reach out and cover his palm with mine.
The bond stills and takes in a breath before pulling my hand up to his nose and taking another big ol’ whiff of my newly scrubbed skin. I wonder if it sees the soap and shampoo as its scent the way North does, or if he’s about to throw a bond tantrum over how foreign I smell.
So I keep talking, hoping to distract him. “Are they going to hurt me? North is worried they will. He’s worried about losing control of them around me, and I need to know if that’s actually possible. If it’s not, I want to keep August… ahh, the puppy. The Doberman-looking one. You know which one, right? Of course you do.”
He takes in another lungful of my scent, and I start to think maybe he’s getting high from it or something because he’s not really keen on letting me go, but then he speaks.