My stomach sinks even lower, practically in hell now. She does this sometimes, loses track of where and when she is. Like her mind is reverting back to when her life meant something and it wasn’t this endless hell without either of her Bonded.
I fight to keep my tone even but, fuck, it’s hard. “I don’t need you to play with me, mom. I just need to know that you’ve eaten something today. Nina called me to say you were refusing food again.”
She huffs and throws out a hand, but it’s so frail that it barely makes a sound against the soft duvet. “She’s meddling again! I need to let her go and find someone who will just leave me.”
I shouldn’t, I really fucking shouldn’t, but my temper is shorter than ever at the moment. I have real shit to be thinking about, not this endless state of grief she refuses to leave. “To die, mom? You need to find someone who will let you waste away until you actually die? Because you’re not far off. You can’t fire Nina. I have power of attorney over you, remember? I hired her. I pay her. I take care of everything around here, because you can’t!”
I stop myself, biting my lip until the words stay trapped on my tongue. I feel the moment she shuts down again, my anger sending her back into the empty space of her grief-stricken mind.
When she doesn’t answer, or even move, I stalk back out of the room. She’s alive, that’s all I really needed to see, and I make it the entire way down the stairs before it hits me. Mostly because my father’s portrait is still hanging there, staring at me like he can see me and knows exactly what I’m thinking.
The guilt might eat me alive.
Because if dad were here and mom was gone, he’d be mourning her just as hard, but at least he’d take care of himself.
Sometimes I wish it was her who died.
When I get back to the Draven mansion, I head straight up to Oli’s room to find my Bond. I need to get the hell out of my own head and back to reality, where we all function and work on our shit instead of running from it in our own goddamn heads.
I take a breath before I knock on the door.
She calls out to me straight away and when I try the door handle, I find it unlocked. That’s new. That feels big too, because she’s always been extra jumpy about keeping it locked at all times. Whatever went down with North before they Bonded, it’s definitely got her trusting us all a little more.
I’m not sure we all deserve that trust.
When I step in, I find schoolwork all over her floor, and Oli’s wearing the tiniest pair of shorts I’ve ever seen as she’s sprawled out in front of it all. She’s alone, except for the two creatures, and there’s a scowl on her face that means I know exactly what she’s working on.
I don’t get why she ties herself in knots over her Gifted 101 shit when North would pass her no matter what, just for being his Bonded, and Nox will never pass her for the exact same twisted reason.
They’re both beyond fucked up over her, but I’ll take North’s brand over Nox’s any day of the week. I don’t need to know the exact reasons for it to know that whatever the hell happened in the Draven house messed with him in a very particular way.
She looks up at me with a soft smile, one that reaches her eyes, and I attempt to not trip over my own feet at the sight of it. She’s fucking gorgeous, made perfectly just for me, and the more she opens up, the more of her perfection I find.
She props her chin up on one of her hands and tilts it to one side at me as she looks me over. “How was your mom? Did you get what you needed?”
I nod and drop my own bag by the door, toeing out of my shoes and coming over to sit with her. I definitely don’t want to talk about my mom or the trip over there, so I focus on the good shit instead. Like how fucking gorgeous she looks today.
I trail a hand over the swell of her ass and she hums under her breath happily at the touch. The waiting to Bond might mess with us all, but there’s something about the anticipation that makes me enjoy the fuck out of it.
Knowing she’s just as desperate for me as I am for her is everything I ever needed.
She heaves herself off of the floor with a grumble, but when she tucks herself into my side, I sling an arm around her shoulders to pull her closer into me and she hums happily. I dig my nose into the soft, silvery locks of her hair and something eases in my chest that had wound up tight over at my parents’ place. Something that would have taken me weeks to undo myself, she does without even trying.
I love this girl already.
She mumbles quietly to me, her eyes on the shadows, “August is being pouty. I told him I’m sleeping in with Gryphon tonight, and he won’t let the creatures on the bed.”