I roll my shoulders back and glance around. The holding tents are close, and I tell Atlas where I’m heading. He turns to watch me but stays behind easily enough, trusting me.
I duck into the space and find that while the cages have been opened, most of the healing and assessment is still happening inside them. Some of the Gifted who have been here for a long time are so frail that they’ll need to be carried out, and some look too sick to be moved. My chest tightens at the sight of them. I walk over to where North is watching them all, his face giving away the sheer amount of disgust and loathing he has for the men and women responsible for this.
I clear my throat and murmur, “I’m back. Properly, I mean. Sorry for going off script.”
He nods. “It was for the best. They had a lot more on their side than we originally accounted for. They always do, no matter how much extra we throw in.”
That does seem to be one of the Resistance’s many advantages. Because of their unscrupulous ways, they’ll just kidnap and brainwash a whole new set of soldiers that they’re willing to sacrifice to get through to us.
Silence falls between us as we watch one of the women in the cage break down and start screaming at the operatives who approach her. She’s terrified, clawing at her own skin like she’s trying to dig something out that we can’t see. When the operatives switch so that it’s a woman approaching her, she breaks down, sobbing uncontrollably in a heap.
I want to cry with her.
It takes me two attempts to get my voice to work. “What happens to them?”
North grimaces. “You don’t really want the answer to that, Oleander. Those who can be taken home, are. Hold onto that instead of the alternative. It’s what I do.”
Looking at the crowd… I’m not sure any of them can really go home.
“Who does it? Who has to put them down if they can’t be saved?”
His eyes narrow at me. “No. Don’t ask, and don’t think like that. That’s not what your gift is going to be used for.”
“I’m already a monster, North. What’s a few more souls when I’ve already taken thousands? Yep, there it is. It’s in the thousands, thanks to my time in one of these camps. What does it matter?”
He tears the helmet off and shoves the gaiter down the column of his neck so that I can clearly see the blinding rage written all over his entire face, but he speaks quietly so that no one further inside the tent can hear us. “It matters because your voice is shaking, Oleander. Don’t you hear it? It matters because you’re writhing with guilt over it all.”
I shake my head at him but he gets a hand up to grab my chin and stops me, leaning in close and snarling, “It matters because you’re mine, and I’d never let you do it. Killing to protect yourself? Fine. Killing to wipe out the enemy who hurt you? Great, do it. Them? Never. Not you, not ever.”
I want to scream at him, argue with him, because why shouldn’t it be me? Why should I get to live untouched by all of this ugliness just because I have them as my Bonds, but he gets a hold of my arm and drags me back out of the tent and into the clearing where everyone else is waiting for us to get back home.
Kieran waits for a second and when my eyes stay their usual color, he holds out his arm for us all to grab.
When we pop back into existence again, my stomach roils rebelliously and I clap a hand over my mouth. Gryphon shoves Atlas out of the way just a little more forcefully than he probably had to as he reaches out to get a hand on my neck, the heat searing me as he manipulates my nervous system and stops me from puking everywhere.
The sweats and shaking stop immediately, and I almost profess my undying love to him out loud in front of all of his friends and subordinates.
Like I’d care if they heard, Bonded.
My cheeks heat and I knock his hand away from my skin as I duck my head. I listen to him chuckle at me and he pulls me in close to his chest for a quick hug before he’s off barking orders at people again.
Atlas reaches out to give my hand a squeeze before he follows North out of the room. I assume he’s going back to his solitary confinement because he’s doing it without question.
I hate it, but I’m not going to call North out about it right now in front of all of these people.
I take a breath and let my shoulders slump down a little, checking in with my bond and my body, but I don’t feel the usual impending three day nap coming. I’m tired, but only the same amount as if Gryphon had run me into the ground in the gym, so a good night's rest should cover me. When I open my eyes, my surroundings finally filter into me and my brows drop down. “Where are we? This isn’t the mansion. North said to take us home.”