Now I just try to forget it all, drink it out or fight until the pain replaces the memories.
Once I get out of the Tac gear I’d worn down to training, a shirt and utility pants, I find an old towel to wipe the blood away from myself. As I loosen my muscles and take some deep breaths, my creatures slowly pour out of me. Mephis stops at my feet and stays with me, even as the others all come out and spread out across the room. I shouldn’t be surprised that more of them are adopting the form of puppies and other sweet creatures.
They all want her to love them.
It’s sickening.
Literally, my gut turns at the sight of them all trying to fight their way onto the bed to be near her. They’re fierce enough with it that she sighs and rolls in her sleep, her hair spilling out of the tie she had it in and falling out over my pillows in an enticing way.
I look away and get to pulling a pair of sweats on, digging through the small collection I’d brought with us until I find one of the soft tees to throw on with it. They’re the only ones I like sleeping in and, sure enough, they’ve become the girl’s favorite to steal from me as well.
I rub a hand over Mephis’ head, ruffling his ears a little and enjoying the way he preens under my attention. Both Mephis and Rahab wait for me to decide where I’m going to sleep before they move, always staying close to my side. As much as they also want the girl, they would never leave me for her.
I should sleep on the couch a safe distance from her. It’s comfortable enough. I should, but the bed is too tempting, and it’s not like I haven’t already slept in it with her before.
Always when I’m sure she’s out cold and only on rare occasions.
It’s easier to do now that I’ve spoken to her bond. Now that I know exactly what it wants from me and told it what it can’t have, we’ve reached an agreement between the two of us and, sure enough, when I slide between the sheets, the girl’s eyes are open.
But the bond is who stares back at me.
I stare back at it, not really in the mood to talk, and it doesn’t move towards me. It knows better.
When Mephis crawls up to slip between us, the bond finally speaks. “Do you need the pain to sleep? I don’t like it.”
I reach up to press a finger against my nose and enjoy the throbbing pain of it. “I don’t need it. It’s cleared my head already. I’m fine now.”
Her gift floods me instantly and the pain disappears all at once. There’ll be questions tomorrow from Gryph and Black about where the injuries went, and with the girl having no recollection, it’ll be harder to dodge them, so I’ll need to find work away from them for a few days.
Avoiding them all has become a great skill for me, keenly honed.
As I roll onto my back and attempt to get comfortable now that I’m not babying sore points, the bond speaks again. “They’re coming. They won’t leave us alone.”
I nod up at the ceiling. “Of course. They’d be stupid to leave someone like you behind enemy lines.”
She is quiet for a moment and then says, “And you? When they find out about you, what do you think they’ll do to get their hands on a dark god like you?”
Dark god.
It is obsessed with that line of thinking, but I’ve spent a long time trying to avoid the other being who shares my skin. North might be worried about the creatures, but I’ve always known it’s the voice, the other soul, that’s the real thing to be feared.
I know our bonds are not like the others.
“Let me speak to him. I miss him.”
I side-eye the bond but it hasn’t moved, it hasn’t crossed any of my very carefully established boundaries.
It never does.
I’m the one who breaks things, not the bond trapped in the girl who looks as though she was dragged out of my deepest, darkest fantasies and splayed out over my pillows.
I don’t trust either of them. “If you two Bond while she sleeps, they’ll kill me, you know. They’ll never believe that I didn’t do it.”
The bond smirks slowly, looking somehow older than the nineteen-year-old’s face it’s wearing. “I’ll be on my best behavior. Let me have him for a little while. Just sleep and leave us to it.”
I shouldn’t, but my own bond wakes up from the darkest recesses of my mind to let me know that he wants to speak.
No fucking. North will kill us both.
My bond prickles at the ruling but answers, No Bonding. I want my Bond for a night.
It’s reckless, but I let go of my control and leave them to their reunion. I try to stick around enough to at least know what they’re doing, but my bond blocks me out so they can be left alone.