“It’s fine. I’ve got this, Tay.”
“Sure?”
I nod.
“I’ll be in the kitchen,” he says as he points the fork at Eric, then sashays away.
I take him in. He’s wearing jeans that cling to his thighs and a pale blue cable-knit sweater. Boots are on his feet. He drags a hand through his hair. “Hey. How are you?”
“Fine.”
He licks his lips. “I, um, wanted to say that I’m sorry for not checking on you at the party. I thought you’d wait for me.” He clears his throat. “You alright?”
“You already asked that.” I stare at my hands and push the words out. “I went to the police and reported Parker for the incident at the Kappa house.” My gaze darts to him. “I-I listed you as a witness. They’ll be contacting you. Sorry.”
He looks shocked, then recovers. “Sure, yeah, anything I can do. Don’t be sorry. He deserves it. I’ll back you a thousand percent.” A huff comes from him. “Dad already has the charges against me dropped.”
A long sigh comes from me. “I-I wish you’d tried to see me earlier since the party.” I may have said I needed space, but I really needed him to make the first move and try to see me.
“I just needed to think.” He pauses, and I feel him studying my face. “Julia. I need you to understand. There are expectations on me.”
“No, I understand. The expectation is you won’t bring me home to the parents.”
“That’s not it. My life, it’s important to them. My father—”
“Wants you to go to law school. Tell him no. Tell him you make your own decisions.”
“You’re important to me, Julia. They know that. I’ve told them. You and I are together.”
My eyes capture his. “We aren’t.”
His nose flares. “What I’m trying to say is that it wasn’t you. You didn’t even matter that night.”
The words knife straight into my heart. So that’s why he didn’t follow me. I don’t rate. “Which is it? Am I important, or do I not matter?”
He sighs. “Stop. That’s not what I meant. Look, there’s more—”
Be strong.
Be fierce.
I interrupt him with a hand. “Eric. Stop. You do your thing and I’ll do mine. Yeah?”
Tell me no, Eric. Tell me you want me and to hell with them.
His jaw clenches as he studies my face. Then he looks away from me and into the distance for several moments. When he turns back, he’s got a faraway look in his eyes.
“Maybe you’re right. I don’t need any distractions, I guess. I’m quitting hockey. May as well rip everything away.”
My chest sears with a white-hot pain. “Okay.”
“Okay.”
We stare into each other’s eyes—until I can’t take it anymore.
I shut the door quietly, then lean against the wall to listen to him leave. Five minutes pass before he walks down the steps.
When I go back into the kitchen, Taylor takes one look at my face and opens his arms.
I fall into them and cry silently.
31
Eric
I back out of the parking lot on campus to head home.
Go to class. Go to my parents’。 Study. Eat. Sleep. Wake up.
That’s what I’ve been doing for the past two weeks since school started.
Today I have another stop to make. I need to finish getting some things at Hockey House.
As I’m driving down College Avenue, though, I see her, and my heart double-times, a familiar anguish hitting me like a ton of bricks.
I see her dark hair, tinged with gold. It must be . . .
Nope, not her.
I’ve heard about her, though. All of campus has. She started a snowball rolling downhill involving an investigation concerning misconduct at Kappa. At first her story was turned into a joke, as college hijinks and boys being boys.
When other girls came forward, the jokes stopped.
My father is furious about the entire situation. Nothing like that would have happened back in my day, he said. I don’t know if that’s true.
I park at the house and grab the boxes from the back.
Reece’s hand falls on my shoulder when I walk inside. “Well, look who’s back from the dead.”
“Hey. Sorry I haven’t been around.” Or texted him much.
He gives me a disappointed look. “You drop off the face of the Earth. Then Coach tells me you’ve left the team and I’m captain now. I think I deserve a little more than a ‘hey’。”