“I’m not as strong as you think,” I say finally.
“Why do you say that?”
“Because I missed you so much.” My voice cracks and I pull it back as I shake my head and look out the passenger side window.
“Hey, look at me.”
I do, my heart pounding with the need to hear those words from his lips.
His topaz eyes glint with a deep well of emotion. His face softens, his lips curling up in a small smile as he trails his hand down my cheek. “I let my parents get between us, but I know my future. I’m a hardcore hockey player with little to offer you. My dad will probably disinherit me. I’m cool with that. I’m going to be starting over. A career on the ice. A new city.” He studies my face, tenderness in his eyes. “I can’t take Kurt’s place as atonement for how he died. I need to be myself. And there’s only one thing I want.”
“Hockey.”
“It’s you. I want you.”
Tears appear from out of nowhere and drift down my cheeks. He wipes one away.
“I love you, Julia. I meant those words in the poem. My world kind of begins and ends with you. You see me for who I am, the ugly parts, the good parts.”
My throat tightens as a sense of wonder washes over me. “Oh, Eric, I love you too.”
He smiles and laughs. “Jesus. Thank God. Thank you, thank you, thank you.”
Happiness fills me up as he brushes his lips over mine, tentatively, as if it’s our first kiss. I melt in his arms as his mouth touches my eyelids, my nose, my forehead, my cheeks. I quake under each gentle touch, tingles dancing over my skin.
His big hands cup my cheek. “I’d do anything for you, Julia.”
“When did you know, you know, that you loved me?” I mock-glare at him when he smirks. “What? Girls like this stuff. We’re gooey inside.”
He thinks for a moment. “I knew it was real the night I held you in my arms after your mom’s stroke. Then there was this morning after we had sex. The sun was shining on your face. I don’t know, it’s dumb—but my heart was just happy.”
“If only Boone and Reece could hear you say those sappy words.”
He mock-glares at me. “What about you?”
My hand touches his face. “Prep school was the beginning, but it didn’t dawn on me until the night of the party at your parents’。 The loss I felt when you didn’t come outside, it was as if part of me was destroyed . . .”
His eyes shut. “I’m sorry.”
I press a kiss to his lips. “No, we need battles to win the war. We’ll make mistakes, then work it out. No more space between us, though. I can’t do that.” I gaze down at the ring I slipped on my finger. “Thank you for this. It’s exactly the kind of thing you’d do.”
“To everyone else, I’m a stone-cold badass with no feelings, yeah?”
My hand trails down to the strong column of his throat. I lean on his chest and inhale the spicy aftershave. I soak in his strength. “Take me to your place.”
“Can’t. There’s a hockey party.” His eyes twinkle. “Yours? But I need to hit a drive-through first.”
“Hungry?”
He waggles his brows. “Yes, my love.”
“Oh, is that going to be a thing now, ‘my love’？ What would the hockey players think?”
He gives me a wry grin as we pull out of the parking lot. “I really don’t care. I’m The Miracle.”
35
Eric
Later, we sit on the couch in the living room and stare at each other. My chest tightens at the emotion that arcs between us. I’m thankful she’s giving me another shot.
“I want you with me after graduation,” I say. “You’re my family. You’ll come with me to Washington?”
She winces. “My mother . . .”
“She can come. I still have my trust, and my signing bonus will be enough for us to get started, maybe find an apartment, plus get that printer you wanted to start your business.”
“Are you sure?”
“Yeah.”
“Okay!” She throws her head back and laughs, the sound full of happiness. “This is so exciting.”
Relief washes over me. I didn’t realize how terrified I was she’d say no. That she would say she had other plans for herself that didn’t include me.
After a soft kiss, I pull her to her feet and sweep her up in my arms.
She giggles as I carry her up the stairs to her room.
I set her down and close the door. There hasn’t been anyone for me since the night I saved her from Connor.