“How does it feel to hurt someone so badly that they pled for death when you could save them with your abilities instead?” I asked softly.
Nino’s fingers halted on my foot. He glanced up at me then at Dad.
Whatever passed between them, they obviously decided Dad should answer.
“He deserved death.”
“By whose standards?” I asked.
“Mine. They are the only standards that matter.”
I stared into Dad’s unwavering eyes. I couldn’t detect a hint of guilt or doubt in them. I’d known he was Capo all my life. It had taken a long time to understand what it meant, and I still wasn’t sure I knew everything. I’d never understood people who chose obliviousness over information, who weren’t driven by strong curiosity to know everything. Maybe I was slowly getting there.
“Do you want me to explain why?”
“No,” I said firmly. “It won’t change the way I think.”
“You can’t know that,” Nino interjected.
“I have my convictions.”
Nino rose to his feet and began to put everything back into his medical kit. “That’s a luxury not everyone is allowed.”
Silence settled in the room. Nino closed the kit and looked at Dad for a moment whose expression was a mask of control. Their silent interactions often reminded me of Nevio and I, but Dad and Nino’s thought process was more similar than mine and Nevio’s.
I swallowed, remembering Mom’s words. “Thank you, Nino, for treating my wound. I appreciate it.”
He tilted his head. “You’re welcome.”
“I’m not scared of you, you know,” I said before he could slip out of the door. He regarded me curiously, then a tight smile pulled at his mouth. “You don’t have to fear any of us.”
He left and closed the door.
“You should try to sleep,” Dad said in a low voice, still perched on the edge of the bed, not touching me.
He was about to get up but I pushed up and pressed against him. I didn’t want him to think my feelings for him had changed. He was tense at first then his arms came around me in a tight embrace and he released a long breath. “I love you, Dad.”
Dad pressed a kiss to my temple. “I love you more than life itself, Mia Cara. Never forget that.”
I nodded, because I wouldn’t. I’d never doubted his love, not even in the basement.
“There’s darkness all around you, pitch-black like hell itself, and no matter how hard I try to protect you from it, some of it will inevitably touch you because you are part of this family. But I swear I’ll make sure no other darkness comes close to touching you.”
I closed my eyes, listening to his steady heart.
I wondered how Mom and Kiara felt, knowing what Dad and Nino were. They’d chosen them despite what they were. I didn’t think I could ever be with someone like that. I had always loved my family. I didn’t choose them. But choosing someone who was capable of such horrors, of acts of utmost cruelty? I couldn’t do it.
The men in my family were bad men. Nevio, my other half, was possibly the worst of them. But this love was inevitable.
It was only fitting that I should fall in love with a man who was just as bad, as brutal, as cruel as the men who’d raised me.
Seventeen years old
I landed a hard punch in Maximus’ stomach. He grunted and tried to land a hit in turn but I blocked his side jab. We’d been training together for years and knew each other well. Maximus was one of the few guys who were almost my height. Fighting him actually sometimes proved a challenge, which was nice.
“Training’s over,” Dad shouted as he stepped into the Famiglia gym. Maximus and I stopped and exchanged a confused look. Dad sounded majorly pissed.
Maximus’ cocked one dark brow as he grabbed the towel draped over his corner. “What did you do?” He and I had sometimes been mistaken for brothers because we both had black hair, but while my eyes were gray like my father’s, Maximus had inherited the amber eyes of his. I was a year older than him and we’d been best friends for a decade. In the past Primo, Maximus younger brother, had joined us most of the time, but now he had his own group of friends.
I shrugged. The list of possible mess-ups was too long to pick one. His father Growl got up from the bench-press, gave my dad a nod in greeting, and motioned Maximus to come over to him. Maximus climbed out of the boxing ring and jogged over to his father while I moved toward mine.
“We need to talk,” Dad said, his expression pinched. What had I done now?