“Amo, what’s the matter?” she asked as if she didn’t know it.
“Cut the act. You know I can’t stand you. Do you really want to base a marriage on that?”
Cressida shrugged. “I don’t care. You’ll change your mind about me once you get to know me better.”
I seriously doubted it. She’d talked shit about my sister in one of the hardest times of my sister’s life. She treated everyone she deemed less like shit and she was conceited as fuck. “Find a guy who buys into your bullshit and who worships the ground you walk on because that’s not going to be me.”
Her expression pinched but then she smiled sweetly and came closer, touched my chest.
“I gave you a gift, my virginity, doesn’t that count for something?”
“I’d give it back if I could,” I growled. I didn’t care if saying it was dishonorable too. I was a Made Man, not a British gentleman.
She flushed. “But you can’t. You dishonored me. You’re lucky nobody but my family knows yet. It would cast a bad light on you.”
“And you,” I said. But she had a point. While it wouldn’t ruin me, it would stir up a lot of bad blood and would make many Traditionalists demand that I didn’t become Capo.
She pressed up to me again, her lower lip jutting out. “Don’t be like that, Amo. I know we’ll have fun.” I gritted my teeth. She sank down to her knees right in the library and pulled down my fly. I shook my head, unable to believe she was going to blow me with our families down the hall. I was all for interesting places but not when my mother could potentially walk in.
She pulled my cock out, which was hardening despite my dislike of her. She giggled again and licked her lips.
My annoyance won over my hormones and I grabbed her hand, pulling her to her feet. Confusion flickered across her face. “You can’t expect me to dishonor you again.” My voice dripped with sarcasm.
She shrugged as I shoved my cock back into my pants and pulled up my fly.
“Your loss.”
I chuckled, shaking my head. “Cressida, I didn’t say I’d become a monk. That I won’t touch you until we’re married because I don’t see a fucking reason why, doesn’t mean I won’t fuck all the other women that throw themselves at me.”
“I could do the same, you know? Let other guys have me.”
I didn’t say anything, only looked at her daringly. She’d make me the greatest fucking gift of all time if she let a guy fuck her before I officially put my ring on her. Then I’d be free of her.
Six years later
I stifled a groan when I glanced down at my phone.
I can’t do this alone. A good fiancé would have been here.
I was trying to get into the right mindset for the fucking meeting ahead and Cressida had nothing better to do than to grate on my nerves with rehearsal dinner number two. The only reason why I had humored Cressida and attended rehearsal dinner number one was because my father had insisted that I do to make up for my mistakes of the past. I couldn’t care less if we served smoked marlin or smoked tuna. I had far more important things to do. Of course, Cressida didn’t understand.
I’m not a good fiancé and I won’t be a good husband. You can still call this off.
Cressida always brought out the worst in me, and now definitely wasn’t the right time to rile me up. It would be difficult enough to keep it together.
Nothing you can do will make me call this wedding off.
That’s what I feared. I’d ignored her existence these last few years, not once touched her because not a fiber in my body desired her. Still she clung to me and our future together. Not for emotional reasons of course. We both knew the only thing that made her heart beat faster was the prospect of becoming a future Capo’s wife. Even Mom didn’t like her, and Mom was the kindest person I knew and gave everyone a chance. Dad utterly despised her. I could see it in his eyes whenever she was close, and yet he insisted on this ridiculous bond.
Fuck. Part of me got it. The Famiglia was still divided between the Traditionalists and the more liberal soldiers. It had always been like that, but since Marcella married Maddox, a biker from a hostile MC we’d been battling for decades, and became part of the family business, the Tradionalists had become too loud to ignore. The tide was turning and Dad and I needed to make sure we weren’t swept out onto the unforgiving ocean. Eventually we’d have to make a bloody statement, there was no way around it, even if Dad was reluctant to do so. Maybe because he could sense that it would very well be one of the bloodiest in the history of the Famiglia. I had a feeling he was biding his time until my brother Valerio was old enough to fight at our side. Considering he’d recently turned sixteen I really hoped that would miraculously happen before my wedding with Cressida.