“I’ve carried her before,” Greta said firmly. “She doesn’t trust men so you can’t carry her. I don’t want to cause her additional distress in the current situation.”
I watched as Greta picked up the dog and straightened with it carefully draped over her arms. The dog hung trustfully in her grip and I watched as she carried it outside for a pee before she picked it up again and carried it into the bedroom where she put it down on another big cushion. She patted its head gently and whispered something in its ear.
With my overnight bag I went into the bathroom to give Greta a bit of privacy. It was small, only a sink, toilet and shower cubicle, no luxuries whatsoever. I put on pajama bottoms and nothing else. It was too hot. When I emerged from the bathroom, Greta sat cross-legged on her bed, her hair up in a messy bun and she was dressed in a loose fitting white nightgown with thin straps. Against her tanned skin and dark hair the fabric looked marvelous. She scooted off the bed then walked past me into the bathroom. “Make yourself comfortable on the bed.”
I shook my head at the absurdity then stretched out on the bed. I would have slept on the sofa or fucking floor if Greta had asked me to, but that she wanted me in her bed… I ran a hand over my face and released a deep breath before I opened my eyes again. Bear was eyeing me in a way that reminded me of Nevio, as if he’d like to bite a big chunk out of me. I knew which part. Dotty barely dared to look my way, obviously terrified.
Greta returned a couple of minutes later.
She gave me a shy smile then came over to me and sank down on the bed. “Are you okay with this?”
I tried to determine what she meant, with her being so close, with her dark eyes putting me on the spot in a way I couldn’t quite explain, it was difficult to catch a clear thought. “Okay, with what?” I rumbled, then cleared my throat.
“Sharing a bed. I could sleep on the sofa. It’s too short for you but I wouldn’t mind if you’re not comfortable with me in a bed.”
“I think I should be the one asking you that, and you definitely won’t be moving to the sofa because of me.”
“I think I’ll be fine with you in a bed. Your presence doesn’t bother me like other people do. I like having you around.”
“You don’t have to worry about me. You know I’m experienced.”
She tilted her head in an assessing way. “Oh, I know that you’ve had sex with many women.”
She said it in a non-judgmental way and still I felt almost guilty. How did that even make sense?
“But that you’re comfortable having sex with someone doesn’t mean you’re comfortable being vulnerable around them when you sleep. Nevio has been with many girls but he’d never share a bed with them. Of course, he’s not with any of them. You have Cressida.”
Her voice had become very quiet and she looked away, her arms wrapped loosely around her shins, her feet stretched in a very ballet-dancer way so only her tiptoes touched the mattress.
A thick strand had fallen out of her messy bun and hid half of her face from me. Sitting up, I reached out and gently brushed it behind her ear.
She tilted her head toward me.
“I don’t share a bed with Cressida. I rarely even sleep under the same roof with her. I have my old apartment where I’m spending most of the time. I see her maybe once or twice a week, and sleep with her far less than that.”
I wanted to be honest with her. I didn’t want to have any secrets from Greta. That would have felt like a breach of her trust.
“And she doesn’t mind?”
“As long as she’s got my credit card and my last name, she doesn’t care.”
“I would want to share a bed with you if you were mine. I would miss you, I do miss you, even though you’re not mine.”
I cupped her neck and gently pulled her down to me for a kiss. Greta snuggled up to me, her petite body pressing against mine in the most perfect way. I didn’t deepen the kiss, neither did Greta. I was content being with her in this innocent way, our lips lightly brushing. Eventually Greta fell asleep in my arms, her cheek resting on my bicep.
I watched her for a long time before I turned off the lights. Greta had drawn the black-out curtains so it was dark in the room though sunset was still ten minutes away.
My phone lit up with messages, but I ignored them.
I didn’t want anything to tear me out of this. This dream. I didn’t want morning to come, maybe that was why I hesitated to allow my body to rest.
Tomorrow I’d be flying back home even if it felt like my heart was slowly making itself at home somewhere else. New York was my home, had always been. But Greta…Greta, she kept my heart with her in Las Vegas.