I抎 done my best to convince him otherwise. If it had been up to Maurice, I wouldn抰 even be one anymore. We抎 kissed a lot that night, had touched each other through our clothes, but I couldn抰 bring myself to do more. He抎 wanted me but I hadn抰 been able to put Santino out of my mind. No matter how often I tried to convince myself otherwise, Santino was the man I wanted right now.
I breathed heavily, my head hanging forward, my balls still pulsating from my orgasm. This had been?fuck. A wild ride. Fucking Anna抯 mouth, that was something I抎 never forget. It wasn抰 what I wanted, not nearly enough, but it was all I could have. Anna was taken, and I had to deal with it.
I opened my eyes. Anna was still in the bathroom. She was probably pissed for whatever reason. I stared at the door. I felt the irresistible urge to go to her. I wanted her close. With other women, I抎 wanted to get away from them as fast as possible once the sex was over.
But I still longed for Anna, for more than what we抎 just had, and not just on a physical level. I was a moron. Anna saw me as her plaything, as a nice way to entertain herself until she had to enter her marriage with Cliffy. I was a comfortable choice. I was always available and as an added bonus she could blackmail me. And I sure as hell was a better lay than Maurice, that was for sure.
I shook my head and dragged my eyes away from the door. I wouldn抰 run after Anna no matter how much I wanted her close. I wouldn抰 turn myself into more of a fool than I had already done. I had to draw a line somewhere.
I reached for a tissue to wipe my fingers and cock clean and paused when the white came away pink. I stared at my fingers and immediately my gaze darted to the bathroom door.
揊uck,?I groaned. Anna had played me well, had made me believe in her little charade.
Damn it. I抎 fingerfucked her so hard I抎 taken her virginity.
I ran a hand through my hair. I should say something. I stepped closer to the bathroom. 揂nna??I called. Damn it. I hadn抰 just fingerfucked her. I抎 practically fucked her mouth too.
I was going to hell. Not that that was news but today I抎 cemented a cozy place in hell for good.
Anna didn抰 react.
揂nna, we need to talk!?I jerked up my pants and closed them, but didn抰 bother pushing my shirt back in. 揂nna, come on.?
The door opened and Anna stepped out in her nightgown. She wasn抰 wearing makeup and if I wasn抰 mistaken, her eyes were slightly red. My heart plummeted. I stared at her, searching for something to say. Anna had played me so often, but I knew the tears she抎 cried in the bathroom weren抰 fake.
I racked my brain for something gentle to say, maybe even apologize even if Anna had wanted what we抎 done, had practically seduced me. Still, I felt like I had done something wrong.
I cleared my throat, making my voice as gentle as I was capable of, which still wasn抰 much. Being gentle wasn抰 my strong suit. 揥e should talk.?
Anna shoved past me. 揑抦 not in the mood to talk. You gave me what I wanted, now I want sleep.?
She breezed away and into her room before I had the chance to say another word, then she closed the door audibly.
I stayed where I was for a while. Part of me wanted to follow her, but what was I supposed to say?
And maybe it was better if I didn抰 seek her out now because I was angry too. Angry because she抎 pretended to be something she wasn抰。 If I抎 known she hadn抰 done the deed with Maurice, I may have been able to hold on to my meager control.
Fuck, who was I kidding? I would have given in eventually.
I decided to wait until the morning to confront Anna again. We both needed time to clear our heads.
Of course, I couldn抰 fall asleep that night. All I could think about was Anna lying in her bed and possibly crying. I wanted to protect her. Over the years my duty had become a deep urge. I wanted to keep her safe, even if she managed to make me want to kill her half the time.
I must have dozed off when I heard shuffling in the corridor. My eyes darted to the door, which opened a second later. Anna抯 slender form appeared in the doorway. She leaned against it, regarding me. The light from the street allowed me to make out slightly more than outlines.
揑 can抰 sleep,?she said. Her voice was calm and quiet.
I sat up, the covers bunching at my waist. 揑 can抰 sleep either.?Silence settled between us. 揇o you want to talk??
Anna nodded and came in. She perched on the bed, and I lifted my covers, not even thinking about it. She looked like she needed to be consoled and I wanted to be the one to do it. I couldn抰 fight it. I wanted to have her close even if I was pissed.
The briefest smile flitted across Anna抯 face, not her usual provocative or challenging smile, it was a small sweet smile, one that made my pulse speed up in a way it had never done because of a woman before. She crept under the covers and sat beside me with her back against the headboard. Then she looked at me. She didn抰 say anything, only looked at me. I almost leaned forward and kissed her again. Having her in my bed was bound to lead to more unfortunate events.