So this kind of fear is unfamiliar to me, and I’m more disturbed by the fear than by the face, or the fact that the impressions in the canopy are now moving, like there’s something up there crawling across it.
The fear sends an electric jolt through my body. I catapult out of bed and stare up at the space between the top of the canopy and the ceiling.
I don’t see anything unusual, but I keep my eyes locked there. I take a few steps back to get a better view. Another few steps. My back hits the wall.
There’s nothing on the canopy. I breathe a long sigh of relief. I turn to walk toward the bathroom, and the wall seems to jump back away from me. My eyes slowly shift to the side, and in my peripheral vision, the distance between where I stand and where the wall is seems significant. A few feet.
So what was I up against? What was at my back?
The relief is sucked from my body with such force that my knees buckle. I listen for something, some noise that would confirm the presence of someone other than myself. The give of the floor. Breathing.
In listening, I discover there’s something else at my ear. Not a sound. Well, not really. It’s more a sensation. I realize I’ve been feeling it for a few seconds but have been too flustered to acknowledge it.
It’s hot air.
Humidity.
My hand reaches up instinctively.
ShhhhhhSssssss!
Someone is hissing in my ear.
I run.
I run to the bathroom, slam the door shut, lock it. I flip the light switch and look around. I slowly approach the tub and crane my neck to see inside. Empty.
I go back to the door. I wait for the knob to spin or for a set of fingers to appear in the narrow space between the door and the bathroom floor.
I think of what Sophie said earlier. A creaky, drafty old house.
I wonder what Sam would say if he were here. He’d probably still be asleep. He’s a heavy sleeper.
If Sam were here, I wouldn’t be afraid.
It’s just because I’m alone.
The realization is sobering. I go pee, wash my hands and splash some cold water on my face. I drink from the tap. I open the door out to the bedroom without any fear or hesitation, just bleak, boring logic. I get back in bed and pull the covers up high over my shoulder.
I close my eyes and pretend I’m back in the city, back in my old apartment. I pretend that Sam and I are still together, that the breakup never happened. I imagine him next to me. His occasional snores. The rise and fall of the sheets. The warmth there beside me.
I can almost feel it.
NEW DAY WITH PANCAKES
I wake up to sunlight nuzzling my face. I roll out of bed, change back into my clothes from yesterday and pull my hair into a sloppy bun.
I didn’t sleep well.
At all.
This is made painfully obvious by the dark circles under my eyes. A germ of a hangover floats behind my forehead.
As I step out of the room, I realize I don’t know where I’m going. Left, I think? I need to get to the main staircase.
I’ve never been in a house so big there’s a danger of getting lost.
I find the staircase, go down the hall of mirrors and into the kitchen. I find Sophie there, kneading dough. Her hair is in a French braid that snakes down her back. She’s wearing one of her signature long black dresses, protected by a burlap apron. She doesn’t have a single speck of flour anywhere on her.
“Morning!” she says. “Oh, pet! You look tired. Did you not sleep well?”
“I slept okay,” I say. “I have trouble sleeping sometimes.”
“Was the bed not comfortable? I’ll beat the mattress. Or I can put you in a different room,” she says, “if you’ll ever want to stay again. Perhaps it was too poor an experience.”
“No, no,” I say, my voice in its lying pitch. I imagine dogs around the world pausing in unison to consider the sound. “Not poor at all.”
“Would you like to go to the diner? It’s a lovely day,” she says, “though it might still be muddy.”
“That’s okay. I’ll go.”
“All right,” she says. She sets the dough in a ceramic bowl and puts a damp towel over it. “Let’s go.”
She leads me back through the woods. She was right about the mud. By the time we get to pavement, my boots are covered in sludge.
When we arrive at the diner, Sophie introduces me to the owner, a tiny bald man named Tom.
He bows to Sophie multiple times as he leads us to a booth in the back corner.
“I’ll bring coffee right away,” he says, hurrying off.
“Do you own this building?” I ask her.