“What—no—what is it?” Molly’s breath slips from her throat. Panic takes over, edging toward hysteria. “Tell me. Please, tell me!”
Her mother’s eyes are suddenly full of tears. “I’m so sorry, Moo. The doctors said you were very lucky not to be in worse condition, but the baby…”
Molly doesn’t hear the rest. She feels as though she’s falling all over again—her body pitching forward, scraping rock and gathering speed as the steepness of the steps increases—except at the bottom there isn’t the soft relief of grass but a dark, vacuous pit of nothingness that swallows her whole. She will fall forever. Her heart has stopped, she knows. There isn’t air to breathe.
Her mother’s arms are around her, cradling her head as she shakes uncontrollably. She cries so hard she can’t see. She thinks of Hunter. Their baby. Their tiny, miracle baby. Their last embryo. And Molly knows it’s true. She feels it. Searing emptiness where the soft weight of a promise had been.
Molly cries until her throat is raw, until her eyes are swollen slits. Her heart feels dead. She thinks of the fall. She thinks of how different things would be, if only she hadn’t invited Sabrina to Stella’s party. If she’d never gone over there for dinner back in May. If Sabrina hadn’t walked into her yoga class. Molly knows pain, she knows regret, but not like this.
She isn’t aware that she’s fallen asleep until she wakes up and her mother and Andrew are gone. In their place is the shadowy form of someone else. A man. She blinks into the dimness of the room, willing it to be Hunter, but as her eyes adjust to the light, she sees that it’s Jake. He sits in the chair by her bed, hands resting in his lap. It must be nighttime; there isn’t any light left through the curtains.
Jake looks as demolished as she feels. His curls are tousled, untamed. The sight of him fills Molly with a clashing mix of emotions. Buried in there, a tinge of relief. She manages a sad smile.
“Moll.” His voice is husky and weak. “I’m so sorry.”
The space above her left eye throbs with pain, but it’s nothing compared to her heart. She reaches for the glass on her bedside table, takes a small sip of water. “I’m sorry, too.”
“I heard what happened. God, Molly. I don’t have the right words.”
She sits up a little, leaning back into the stiff hospital pillows. “Neither do I. I feel empty, Jake.”
“Moll.” He slides his hand forward, resting his fingers on her open palm. “I can’t believe…” His eyes search hers. “Stella is my kid.”
She meets his gaze, nodding gently. “I should have told you. I’m sure you’re furious.”
“I don’t know what I am.” He gives his head a small shake. “But I don’t feel angry.”
She studies his face—Stella’s bright blue eyes, Stella’s berry-brown skin, Stella’s bow-shaped mouth. Stella’s father. “It was so long ago, Jake. I made so many mistakes.”
“We both did.”
“She’s beautiful, isn’t she?”
“The most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen.” Jake’s eyes fill, and he watches Molly’s do the same. He can’t believe they’re sharing this, the knowledge that they’ve created a human life together, a little being that is half of each of them. Could anything feel more intimate?
“I couldn’t have not had her.” A tear rolls down Molly’s cheek. “I loved you too much. And I didn’t tell you because … I didn’t want you to give up music. I worried you’d resent us—I saw the way my own father resented not having the time or space to pursue his dreams in a real way, and … I guess part of me was afraid of history repeating itself.”
Jake shakes his head. “I would never have walked out like your dad did.” He smooths a loose lock of hair away from her face. “I’d have stayed with the two of you forever, Moll.”
“Don’t say that,” she whispers. “Please don’t say that.”
“I’m sorry, but it’s true.” His face falls. “But I have to take responsibility for who I was back then. I was self-centered, obviously.”
“It wasn’t just that.”
“It was the picture, wasn’t it? Of that girl kissing me in West Palm Beach? You never really trusted me after that.”
“I tried to trust you.” Molly swallows. “I thought I could. I wanted to.” She sighs. “I can’t believe it was Sabrina all along.”