The air was growing hotter around us, nearly scorching. “I didn’t say that.” His voice was barely a whisper.
I nodded. “That’s why you want revenge so desperately, too. Isn’t it? To make it right.”
“Or maybe my rage drives me because it’s all I have. It defines me and burns away the guilt. There’s nothing else left in me but wrath.”
I felt like my chest was splitting open. In my hunger for revenge, would I become like him? “Do you feel guilty for anything?” I ventured. “Or have you found a way to turn that off?”
Shadows darkened around Orion. “I told you.” A ragged edge under that seductive voice. “Beyond a hunger for revenge, I feel almost nothing at all.”
My pulse sped up as I sensed something changing around me. When psychologists looked for signs of lying in mortals, they looked for indications of anxiety. In most people—those who aren’t psychopaths—lying makes them nervous. It’s why polygraphs show increased heart rates, or why a liar pulls eye contact. People lying might fidget, look away.
Demons didn’t show emotions in the same way. They never fidgeted or lowered their eyes out of nerves. But they could shift, and their bodies seemed to change the air around them, making it hotter or colder.
I’d moved closer, just inches from him now. “I’m not sure I believe you. But I think you should know that there’s something I would want revenge for. If you lay a finger on Shai, I’ll find a way to kill you.”
Demonic stillness, eyes dark as night.
Not my protector. Not really. Must remember that.
A dark chuckle. “Do you still think it’s wise to threaten me? As fragile as you are?”
“You forget, Orion, I passed the Trial all on my own. I don’t break that easily.” I delivered these lines with a lot more bravado than I actually felt.
His lips were curled with a dark smile. “No, I don’t suppose you do. I suppose I can feel something besides a lust for revenge, and that’s a surprise.”
Was that nearly a compliment from Orion?
But his eyes were still dark as night as he was starting to shift. A demon’s black eyes conveyed a message to mortals: If you were smart, you’d probably run.
And maybe that was something I should keep in mind around this predator. “Can I have a few hours to myself? I need to clear my head.”
And you make that very difficult.
Chapter 27
With a margarita in one hand, I dipped my legs into the pool outside my room. Since I’d slept through most of the day, twilight was already spreading its coral mantle over the sky, and the shadows were growing longer. The setting sun bathed the golden stones in blood-red light, and it dazzled orange off the flowing Acheron River. On the far bank, shadows pooled in the wilderness.
As requested, Orion had left me alone—with his number programmed into my new cell phone. If Nama or Lydia, or anyone else, cropped up looking for trouble, I was supposed to hit star seven, and my protector would appear in a whorl of shadows.
I also had the doorman and mortal servants looking out for me, one of whom brought me a pitcher of margaritas and vegan tacos. And most importantly, Shai was on her way over for a dip in the pool with me.
This would continue to be my pool, if I had my choice—if I didn’t have to leave here, and if Shai’s life weren’t at risk. This place was intoxicating in a way that started to make me wonder if I’d lose my mind here. I wanted to sink my claws into this city. I wanted to take it over like an invasive species. When I thought of Nama, a sense of competitiveness started to rise in me.
I had an insane impulse to stake my claim on this city—permanently. I wanted to actually be the demon duchess, to bring the Asmodean Ward alive again. The incubi and succubi didn’t deserve their fate. Whoever Jezebel was, the woman probably hadn’t deserved to be thrown from her palace window and eaten by dogs. I wanted to plant my roots here as a succubus just to spite the rest of these judgmental fuckers.
So clearly, the intoxicating powers of this city were making me go mad, because none of that could happen. I had very limited time here.
And why was I starting to care about the fate of the Lilu? I sipped my tart cocktail, letting the taste of lime roll over my tongue.
I suppose, for one thing, people thought I was a Lilu, so I was starting to feel like one. Behavioral confirmation. For another, it was just the injustice of it all. It seemed like the Lilu had been murdered because of others’ raging jealousy and insecurity.
“Mortana!” Shai waved at me as she crossed through one of the arches. She wore a yellow sundress, and her hair in a halo of curls. “Nice place.”