How hard it would be to put herself back together.
History repeating itself and her the fool for letting it happen, believing that Olivia would ever choose her, ever want Margot as much as Margot wanted her.
Margot swigged her beer, bottle shaking slightly in her hand as she lowered it back to her side. “I just don’t . . . vibe with Luke, okay?”
Elle made a face, nose wrinkling. “You don’t vibe with him?”
“Yeah.” Margot crossed her arms and stared across the fire. “What do we really know about him? What if his real name isn’t even Luke?”
Elle laughed. “Okay, Margot. I’m pretty sure if Brendon—his college roommate and friend—thinks his name is Luke, it’s probably Luke.”
“It could be short for something,” Margot argued. “His name might actually be—I don’t know.” Her brain blanked. What the hell was Luke short for? “Luketh.”
Elle lost it, snorting so hard she dribbled wine on the deck. Darcy threw a napkin at her, lips twitching in fond exasperation.
Margot ached. She wanted that, someone to look at her with fond exasperation when she was being utterly ridiculous. Not someone. Olivia.
“You mean Lucas?” Elle pressed a hand to her stomach, trying and failing to rein in her laughter. Olivia’s eyes flickered across the patio, her lips tipping up in a smile when she met Margot’s eye.
Margot dropped her gaze to the deck, face burning in a way that had nothing to do with the heat from the fire pit. Her heart stuttered and her stomach swooped. How she hadn’t seen this coming was anyone’s guess. She hadn’t wanted to see it coming. If she’d have spared a moment to really think about it, she’d have known that this? This was an inevitability. From the moment Olivia kissed her—hell, from the moment Margot invited her to move in—this was always going to happen.
Casual was nothing but a weak safeguard against the inexorable; like waves beating against rock, it was only a matter of time before her feelings wore her down, weakened her resolve, until leaks started to spring and her feelings spilled out where they didn’t belong. She could plug the holes up, but a new one would always appear.
Margot didn’t know how to be anything but all in when it came to Olivia.
Elle’s brows rose. “Do I have to tell you you’re being ridiculous, or do you already know it and you’re just being difficult?”
She sniffed. The second one. “I’m just saying, Luke’s this . . . this Hallmark actor look-alike with perfect teeth and perfect hair and a job that literally involves saving people’s lives and—and his shoulders.”
Elle blinked. “You’re upset that he has shoulders?”
“Broad shoulders.”
“Ah. An important clarification.” Elle nibbled on her lip. “You know you can talk to me, right?”
Margot looked at her askance. “I am talking. My lips are moving; sounds are coming out of my mouth.”
“But you’re not really saying anything,” Elle said.
With that, Margot couldn’t argue. Elle had a point.
“Okay.” Margot glanced quickly around the patio to make sure everyone was sufficiently occupied with their own conversations, that no one was listening. This confession was for Elle’s ears only. “Olivia’s and my friendship might be slightly more complicated than I previously led everyone to believe.”
“No, really?” Elle deadpanned.
Margot shoved her. “Hush. I’ll tell you more later, okay? I don’t—this trip is supposed to be about Annie and Brendon and, hello, your engagement. That’s huge. And here I am, making everything all about me and my feelings.”
“You never make anything about you, Mar.” Elle frowned. “I think I speak for all of us when I say—hey, Brendon.”
“Hey.” Brendon crouched down, resting his arms on the back of the sectional behind them. He jerked his chin toward Luke and Olivia and grinned. “Looks like they’re really hitting it off, huh?”
A pit formed in Margot’s stomach. “I don’t know.”
He frowned. “What do you mean?”
Margot lifted one shoulder, giving Brendon a tight shrug. “I’m not sensing it.”
“Hmm.” His frown deepened. “Really?”
Elle nodded quickly. “Totally. I’m getting super-platonic vibes.”
Across the patio, Luke leaned in, whispering in Olivia’s ear. Her face turned pink.
Margot felt like she was going to be sick, her stomach queasy, a sour knot forming in her throat.