Olivia scoffed and stepped back. “This has nothing to do with Brad.”
Didn’t it? Maybe not directly, but . . . “It’s about you putting everyone’s needs above your own.”
How she’d been doing it for years. For so long that half the time, Margot was pretty sure Olivia didn’t even realize she was doing it. It had become that ingrained in her.
“I don’t understand why you would bring Brad up. I didn’t answer his call, did I? I texted him and told him to stop calling me. I showed it to you. What more do you want from me, Margot? You want me to block Brad? You want me to act like he was never a part of my life? What can I do to show you that I don’t want Brad? I want you.”
Margot bit the tip of her tongue and counted to three so she wouldn’t say something she’d regret, because she was this close to pulling her hair out because Liv might’ve heard everything Margot had said but she wasn’t listening. “You’re right. You did. And like I said, I think that’s great. You setting a boundary. I just hope you did it for yourself and not because I was sitting there. Because it shouldn’t be about me or what I want. None of this is about me, and I’m not asking you to block Brad or forget he ever existed.” Though Margot sure as hell wouldn’t mind putting Brad out of her mind for good. “I’m not asking you to do anything except what’s right for you. It should be about you. That’s what I’m trying to say, and you saying what you just did is proving my point. You left Brad and you moved to the city, saying you were tired of making sacrifices for Brad, and—all I’m saying is, it’s a slippery slope and it’s easy to go from being selfless to being self-sacrificing. Self-sabotaging.”
Olivia had a history of that, and if Margot was being completely honest, she’d benefited from Olivia’s selfless nature a time or two or twelve. In the moment, she’d never stopped to consider it beyond thinking that Olivia was a great friend, but maybe she should’ve. Maybe she’d taken Olivia’s selflessness for granted just like everyone else. Maybe she had, but she wasn’t going to keep doing it. Olivia was always going to bat for everyone else; she deserved the same in return. Even if it wasn’t fun in the moment. Olivia deserved that.
“I’m not self-sabotaging because I want to check on my dad,” Olivia argued. “And I didn’t send Brad to voicemail because of you, I did it for me.”
Margot crossed the room toward Olivia, footsteps uneven as she avoided putting too much weight on her left foot. “I’m not trying to pick a fight with you, okay? Fighting with you is just about the last thing I want to do right now. Ever.” When Olivia ducked her chin, Margot took a leap of faith and reached for her hand. She swallowed a sigh of relief when Olivia let her lace their fingers together. “I care about you, Olivia. I wouldn’t be wasting my breath saying any of this if I didn’t care. I’d throw you your car keys, kiss you on the cheek, and tell you I’d see you sometime tomorrow. And then I’d go downstairs and hang out with my friends and I definitely wouldn’t spend the night worrying about you making it to Enumclaw safely or how your conversation is going to go with your dad. I wouldn’t—” She sniffed at the unexpected burn in her sinuses, the blur at the corners of her eyes. “I think about you all the time, Liv.” She laughed. “I think about you even when I’m not supposed to, when I wasn’t supposed to, when I convinced myself I wasn’t. I care about you, and I love—” Her throat narrowed. “I love that you have such a big heart and that you care about everyone else, but it can’t be at the expense of yourself.”
If Olivia kept it up, she’d give everything away until she had nothing left. Burn herself out trying to keep everyone else warm.
A pretty pink flush colored Olivia’s cheeks. “It’s not.”
Margot nibbled on the corner of her lip. “Do you remember what you said when Brendon asked why you wanted to be an event planner?”
A tiny wrinkle appeared between Olivia’s tawny brows.
“You told him you wanted to make other people’s dreams come true.”
Olivia frowned. “There’s nothing wrong with that.”
“There’s not.” Margot traced circles against the back of Olivia’s hand with her thumb. “I’m only saying, it’s okay to want things for yourself. You deserve nice things.”
The corner of Olivia’s mouth rose. “I kissed you, didn’t I?”