It isn’t working. In fact, I think he’s looking even grimmer than he was a couple of minutes ago.
“You saw what I did, right?”
I nod. “I did.”
“And you’re telling me that it doesn’t scare you?” He looks incredulous. Suspicious. And, in a bizarre turn of the tables, maybe even a little disgusted. “That it doesn’t horrify you?”
“Which part?” I want to reach out, want to touch him so badly, but it’s fairly obvious now isn’t the time. Not when everything about him screams boundaries. Or, more accurately, armed battlements.
“Which…part? What does that even mean?”
“It means, which part of what I just saw should I be afraid of? The part where you threw everyone across the room? Or the part where you hung someone in the air and choked him with your mind?” I ignore the frisson of discomfort that works its way down my spine at the memory. “Or am I just supposed to be hung up on the biting part?”
“I didn’t realize this was an either-or situation,” he growls at me as he paces back and forth in front of the fireplace. “You saw what I did to Cole. I thought you’d be appalled.”
Watching him, I don’t think I’m the one who’s appalled here. I think Jaxon is—by what he’s capable of and by what he’s just done. Which makes my job of convincing him I’m not disgusted by him harder than I ever imagined it would be.
It also means I need to tread lightly.
“Is that the guy’s name? Cole?” I finally settle on asking.
I want to get closer to him, want to shrink the gap he’s put between us, but badass, take-no-prisoners Jaxon currently looks like he’ll bolt at the first wrong move I make.
“Yes.” He’s back to not looking at me, so I wait him out, refusing to speak until he finally, reluctantly turns his gaze back to mine.
“Why are you looking at me like that?” he whispers.
“Like what?”
“Like you understand. You can’t possibly—”
“Did he deserve what you did to him?” I interrupt.
His whole body goes rigid. “That’s not the point.”
“Actually, I think it’s the most important point.” I’m not going to stand here and beat him up emotionally when he’s already doing a ridiculously good job of it himself. “Did he deserve it?” I ask again.
“He deserves worse than what he got,” Jaxon finally spits out. “He deserves to be dead.”
“But you didn’t kill him.”
“No.” He shakes his head. “But I wanted to.”
“It doesn’t matter what you wanted to do,” I admonish him. “It only matters what you did. You never once lost control when you were going after Cole—in fact, I’ve never seen anyone more in control than you were in that lounge. The power you wield…it’s unfathomable.”
He quirks a brow at me even as his shoulders tense, as if preparing for the next body blow. “And terrifying?”
“I’m pretty sure Cole was terrified.”
“I don’t give a shit about Cole. I’m talking about you.” He shoves a frustrated hand through his hair, but this time his gaze never leaves mine.
I take a deep breath, let it out slowly. Then tell him the truth he so desperately needs to hear. “You don’t scare me, Jaxon.”
“I don’t scare you.” His tone is half sardonic, half disbelieving.
I shake my head. “No.”
“No?”
“No,” I repeat. “And I’ve got to say, you’re beginning to sound an awful lot like a parrot.” I make a face at him. “You might try being careful of that if you want to keep your badass reputation intact.”
He narrows his eyes at me. “My badass reputation is pretty solid right now, thank you very much. It’s you I’m worried about.”
“Me? Why are you worried about me?” I’m sick of waiting on the other side of the room for him to calm down. Not when it’s not getting us anywhere, and not when the need to touch him, to hold him, is a physical ache inside me.
With that in mind, I finally take my hands out of my pockets and walk toward him, slowly, carefully, deliberately. His eyes get wider with every step I take, and for a second, I really do think he’s contemplating fleeing.
Not going to lie, the idea that I scare Jaxon Vega fascinates me on all kinds of different levels.
“What the fuck is happening here?” he demands after the silence between us has gone on too long.