“He is. Yes. It’s just that he doesn’t talk about it much. The whole thing almost destroyed him, and I just couldn’t imagine him discussing it with…” She trails off.
“A total stranger?”
“Yeah.” She looks a little guilty to be admitting it. “Not that you guys are strangers, I guess—”
“Sometimes it’s easier,” I interrupt. “Talking to your best friend about the worst thing that ever happened to you is excruciating. Talking to a stranger who doesn’t have any kind of vested interest…sometimes it doesn’t hurt so much.” It sounds weird, but it’s true. Just one of the things I’ve learned in the last month.
“That makes a strange kind of sense.” She puts the ice cream down and leans over to hug me.
I hug her back for a few seconds—until I feel the tears that are never far from the surface start to well up in my eyes. Then I pull back and give her a grin that says I’m totally fine, even if I’m not. “Maybe that’s why it seems like Jaxon is different with me. Because he knows I’ve lost someone, too.”
“Maybe.” She looks doubtful. “But if the attraction between you and Jaxon is because you’ve both lost someone… Just be careful, okay, Grace? The last thing you want is to become the chew toy in a game of tug-of-war between him and Flint. Because in the end, you’re going to be the one who gets ripped apart.”
I try to ignore her words—and do a pretty good job of it for the rest of the night. But once I’m in bed, with the lights out, I can’t help but think about what Macy said…and how it feels more like a premonition than a warning.
A heaviness creeps into my bones at the thought, pushing me into the bed, weighing me down until the simple act of rolling over and curling into a protective ball feels impossible. I settle for wrapping my arms around my waist and telling myself that she’s wrong. Even as a little voice inside me warns that she’s not.
24
Waffles
Are the Way
to a Girl’s Everything I wake up slowly to the sound of a text coming in. I groan as I think about ignoring it, about staying wrapped up in my covers where it’s warm and comfortable and perfect. But I’ve been slow in responding to Heather’s texts since I got to Alaska, and that’s not cool.
Except when I roll over and grab my phone, I realize two things. One, it’s after ten in the morning, which means I slept right through first period. And two, the text isn’t from Heather.
And it’s not from Macy, either. Instead, it’s from a number I don’t recognize.
Unknown: How is your ankle?
Flint? I wonder as I brush my hair out of my eyes and sit up. Or someone else?
For a moment, Jaxon’s eyes—deep, dark, fathomless—come to mind, but I can’t believe it’s him. Not when he’s been so hot and cold the entire time we’ve known each other. And definitely not when he told me last night that we were going to do things the hard way—whatever that means.
Deciding to play it safe, I text back:
Me: Who is this?
There’s a long pause. Then:
Unknown: Jaxon
It’s only one word, and yet it somehow all but crackles with indignation. Like he can’t imagine that I don’t already have his number in my phone, just waiting for him to finally get around to texting me. I should be annoyed at the assumption, but I’m amused instead. So amused that I can’t help answering: Me: Jaxon who?
Jaxon: I don’t know the punch line Me: To what?
Jaxon: Whatever knock-knock joke you’re setting up I burst out laughing, because he’s funny over text in a way he hasn’t shown me in person.
Me: I’m terrible at knock-knock jokes Jaxon: Finally some good news
Me: Hey!
Me: How many tickles does it take to make an octopus laugh?
There’s a long pause, where I can totally imagine his face. Then: Jaxon: I didn’t realize octopi laughed Yeah, that’s pretty much the response I expected.
Me: eye roll emoji
Me: Come on. Play along.
Jaxon: I just wanted to know how your ankle was Me: Take a guess and I’ll tell you Another long pause.
Jaxon: 17
Me: 17?!?!?!?!?!
Jaxon: Well, it’s obviously not 8 or it wouldn’t be a joke Jaxon: And I don’t have a clue otherwise, so why not 17?
Me: double eye roll emoji
Me: Let’s try this again
Me: How many tickles does it take to make an octopus laugh?
This pause is so long that I’ve just about convinced myself that I’ve blown it and he isn’t going to answer. But then: Jaxon: How many?