“Do you want another piece of chicken?” I asked when I saw he had finished his breast.
He nodded. “Yeah, let me try the other thigh, unless you want it.”
I shook my head. “Nope, it’s yours. If I want more, I can have a drumstick. I’m pretty easy to please.” I cursed myself the moment after the words left my lips. I didn’t need him to take that the wrong way.
But he went right on eating, sipping his wine, spearing a strawberry or a chunk of pineapple with his fork. He seemed…comfortable, and I wasn’t sure I’d ever seen him comfortable.
I finished my thigh and decided I didn’t need a drumstick after all. I was getting full. “Felicia is a great cook. I’ve really enjoyed my meals since I’ve been here.”
“She’s the best.”
“Did you know Marj would like to go to culinary school?”
He shook his head. “Really? She is a good little cook, that’s for sure.”
“I’m surprised she doesn’t cook more often.”
“She’s not used to working hard. She’s so much younger than the rest of us, and she was the baby and very spoiled. So she just lets Felicia do most of it.”
I nodded. I loved Marjorie dearly, but she was a bit spoiled. Four years of living with her as a roommate in college had taught me that. “Maybe I can get her to cook more often. I’ll tell her how much I enjoy her cooking. In fact, why don’t you, Jonah, and Ryan tell her, too? It might mean more coming from her brothers.”
“Jade…”
I looked up. His eyes had darkened. I had the feeling we were done talking about Marj’s cooking.
“Yeah?”
“I don’t want to…”
“What?”
“I don’t want to hurt you.”
I cupped his cheek. “Do I look hurt to you?”
“You’re good at that, aren’t you?”
“Good at what?”
He let out a tiny laugh. “At asking a question instead of making a comment. You’ll make a good attorney.”
“I hope so. And Talon, you haven’t hurt me.”
“I don’t understand what it is about you. Right now, I’m hard as a rock just sitting near you.
Something in you calls to me, and I’m powerless to resist it.”
Even in the warm sun summer evening, my cheeks heated further. I was wet for him too. “If you’ve noticed, I haven’t been resisting you either.”
“I guess that’s what I mean. Maybe you should be resisting it.”
“Why? If we’re both enjoying ourselves, why not do it?”
“Because, like I said, I don’t want to hurt you.”
“Do I look hurt?”
He huffed. “Would you stop doing that please?”
“You won’t hurt me. I won’t let you. If I think I’m going to get hurt, I’ll end this…” This what? I had no idea how to finish that statement. “This…” I said again. “What the hell is this thing between us, anyway?”
CHAPTER TWENTY-FOUR
TALON
My craving.
This thing between us was my craving. How could I tell her that she had become as necessary to me as food and water? That she was my sustenance? That I’d gladly crawl through the depths of hell just to have her for a few seconds each day? That when I wasn’t with her, half of me was missing?
My skin rippled. This had gone beyond craving. She was becoming my obsession.
I didn’t understand it myself. How could I explain it to her?
So I took the easy way out.
“I don’t know,” I said.
“I don’t know either.” She sighed. “You said you didn’t want a relationship, and you said you would never love me. I’m not asking for your love, Talon. I just got out of a seven-year relationship, and I care too much about you to make you a rebound guy. So why not just let it be what it is? Why not just enjoy each other while it lasts?”
I nodded. What she said made a lot of sense. But what if it didn’t last? What if she left someday?
She had almost left a couple days ago. To not be able to see her smile, her steely gaze, to hear her sweet voice… I closed my eyes. I couldn’t bear it.
I had told her I couldn’t love her. I had never loved anyone, other than Marj, since before I was ten years old. I loved my brothers, and I had loved my mother and father. I loved them all enough not to torture them, which is why I had told Jonah and Ryan I would leave.
If Jade stayed, I would only cause her pain, like I caused my siblings pain. An invisible knife sliced through my gut. She was an angel, and she deserved happiness, not a torturous existence because of me.