I kick off my boots and head into the house, grabbing a beer from the fridge as the boys watch TV as I pass by, catching Kaleb’s eyes as I climb the stairs, him holding my gaze a lot longer than he ever does. The nice thing about my oldest is his anger is never verbal. The bad thing is it usually ends up in him disappearing into the mountains for weeks on end. I’ll need to talk to him tomorrow. I don’t like it when he goes in the snow, but he’s always stupid enough to do exactly what he wants anyway.
Neither of my kids have ever wanted to stay with me, and after tonight, I wouldn’t blame them for hating me. They’re not going to marry her or fall in love, either, but I had no right.
I take a swig of my beer, heading to my room and seeing Tiernan’s door closed, no light coming from under the door. She got in bed quick. She didn’t hear our conversation, did she?
I strip off my clothes in the bedroom and pull on some flannel pants, washing up and brushing my teeth.
I should take a shower. I like the smell of her on my body, though.
Rubbing the back of my neck, I try to walk for my bed. I’m tired, and tomorrow will be another long day of custom work, chores, and repairs to get ready for the next storm, whenever it hits.
But I don’t go to my bed. Opening my bedroom door, I head across the hall to hers, and I knock. I just want to make sure she’s alright. If she’s crying, I’ll fucking kill myself.
“Come in,” she calls.
My heart starts pumping harder. I open the door.
The room is dark, lit only by the soft glow of the space heater, and I lean against the doorframe and find her in bed.
She sits up, the blanket falling to her waist as she looks over at me.
I trail my eyes down her little white half shirt, my mouth going suddenly dry at the glimpse of her panties peeking out of the sheet.
“Showered?” I ask.
She nods.
I can’t see her eyes very well, but when she straightens her spine, stretching out her body and drawing my eyes to her bare stomach, I feel my arms ache with the emptiness.
“Hungry?” I fight to keep my tone level.
She shakes her head.
I take a swig of the beer, looking at her.
“Warm enough?”
She cocks her head playfully. And she shakes it again.
I smile to myself, even through the sinking in my stomach.
I really wish I could’ve surprised myself and been stronger. I wish I wasn’t such a lousy piece of shit.
She climbs out of bed and walks over to me, taking the bottle out of my hand and wrapping her arms around my neck so I can lift her up.
Her legs circle me like a belt, and I grip her ass.
“Wanna come into my bed tonight?”
She buries her face in my neck and holds me tight, her breath and body warm and wanting on my skin.
God, this feels good.
And I carry her into my bedroom, slamming the door and hiding us away.
This will end.
Just not tonight.
Tiernan
I wake with a start, my fingers aching as I slowly unclench them from the sheet. I blink a few times, seeing the time on the clock come into view.
1:21.
The room is dark, and I turn over onto my back, the cool air hitting my bare breasts. I quickly pull the sheet up, covering myself as I remember everything we just did a couple hours ago.
And in the truck yesterday.
I reach down, slipping my hand between my legs, the raw skin stinging a little and my thigh muscles aching.
I smile a little.
I’m glad it was him.
What I told him last night was true. No one’s first time is good, but mine was. It hurt, but he was careful with me.
He wasn’t selfish or mean or impatient.
I look over, but he’s not in bed. I should probably get back to my own, actually.
A light glows from the bathroom, and I sit up and slide my hand under the sheets, finding my panties and shirt. Swinging my legs over the side of the bed, I slip them both on and stand up, stretching. I wet my dry lips as I pull off the rubber band on my wrist and tie back my hair, walking for the sink to get a glass of water.
But as soon as I step into the bathroom, I see Jake standing in front of the mirror turned to the side, with his arm raised, and gazing at the tattoo on his hip.
My Mexico.
He catches my eyes in the mirror, and I drop mine, backing out of the bathroom.
“Where are you going?” I hear him ask.
I stop and step back into view, but I just want to be gone now. Out of his way.
I rub my eyes. “Just giving you your privacy,” I mutter and make to escape again.
“Why?”
I hesitate, shifting on my feet.