I grin. “Is this your way of telling me you want your clothes back?”
“Just thought you might like something that fits you a little bet—” He pauses, rethinking. “Actually, my clothes look pretty good on you. I just thought you’d like something new is all.”
Yeah. I love it. I don’t have many T-shirts of my own. Just school ones, and those don’t have good memories, so this one will be fun to wear.
I look at the burgundy-colored cap with the word WILD written in cursive.
“It was either that or DIVA,” he says.
I laugh and pull it onto my head, peering at him under the bill. “I am a DIVA,” I allow. “But I’d rather be a wild diva.”
I reach in, wrapping one arm around his neck for a quick hug. “Thanks.”
I pull away, but his arm is around my waist, holding me to him for a real hug. I falter, taken back.
But then, I tighten my embrace.
It feels good—hugging someone who doesn’t want to pull away first.
“My mom calls me sometimes,” he says, his voice low and pained. “My dad doesn’t know.”
I back up, releasing him, so I can look in his eyes.
“Not sure why I’m telling you.” His voice is quiet. “She wants money in her commissary account.”
I watch him, listening. No one talks about her. I don’t even know why she’s in jail.
“And I put the money in her account, because I let myself enjoy the idea for a moment that she needs me.” He gives me a sad smile, looking so solemn. So serious. Not Noah. “Even though I know I’m just the first person she assumes she can take advantage of. She knows my dad won’t talk to her. That Kaleb can’t talk to her.”
Noah can’t talk to Jake. I gathered that much in my first week here.
He doesn’t have anyone in that house to really connect to. I never really saw that before.
“I wish she was dead.” Noah stares at the floor but then looks up at me. “I wish she was dead, because then I could love her.”
I stare at him, and he stares at me, both of us barely breathing but calm.
He steps closer, “Would you rather be used than never thought of at all?”
“Would you rather be never thought of at all or used?” I throw back.
Even now, I’m not sure. At least his mother knows he exists and can put on a show of love, even if it’s fake.
But then…at least my parents didn’t lie to me. They didn’t toy with me or jerk me around. I always knew where I stood.
Who had it worse? Him or me?
“Try the shirt on before we leave,” Noah says.
I blink at the sudden change in subject.
He steps closer, a hardness in his eyes that wasn’t there a moment ago as he backs me up farther into the corner.
“I don’t want it too tight,” he explains.
He hovers, his body an inch from mine as he looks down at me.
What? Here? My eyes flash to the store around us.
“Noah…”
“I’m really glad you’re here,” he whispers, cutting me off. “I’m glad you came back.”
“Why do you want me here so much?”
“Why not?”
I study his eyes. “Because when you leave, I won’t be wherever you go.”
He falls silent, but his gaze doesn’t leave mine. He wants to leave here so badly, and he will. Eventually.
Eventually, I’ll leave, too. He doesn’t need me. He needs a life raft.
Looking around and not seeing anyone around us, I shield myself between him and the corner as I pull off his old T-shirt I’m wearing and hand it to him.
Refitting my cap, I slip my arms through the new one, his eyes on me making my skin tingle as I avoid his gaze.
My bra covers more than a bikini, and I’m still in my jeans. Overall, I’m much more dressed than I was at the lake all those weeks ago when they took me fishing.
But with my hair hanging in two scraggly braids, a baseball hat, and dirt under my fingernails for the first time in my life, I’ve never felt this pretty.
How he looks at me…
How Jake looks at me…
How Kaleb refuses to look at me, but I know he’s aware of my every move when we’re in the same room.
The skin of my breasts, only half covered in my hot pink bra, burns with fire under Noah’s gaze, and I pull the shirt on over my head, feeling Noah’s hands brush my arms as he reaches up to help pull it down over my body.
I fix my hat again, his fingers still gripping the hem below my hips.