My stomach sinks like a stone.
Because while Jaxon is definitely becoming more human…I’m deathly afraid that I’m turning into the real monster at Katmere Academy.
23
Saturday Morning
Cartoons Never
Prepared Me
for This
Jaxon’s words stay with me all day, melting me whenever I think about them. About him. Making me more determined than ever to find my way back to him, fully.
With that thought in mind, I decide to skip lunch—both Jaxon and Macy have study-group plans anyway—and head straight for the library, where I’ll have a couple of hours of uninterrupted time to research gargoyles.
To research myself.
Which I really, really need to do, considering my knowledge on the subject is incredibly limited. And when I googled them last night, all I got was an architecture lesson when what I really need to know is why I am apparently prone to bloody attacks and amnesia.
I should probably set up an appointment with Mr. Damasen, see what information he can give me on gargoyles that doesn’t involve pages upon pages about how they’re really good waterspouts and gutters.
I mean, I didn’t know that much about vampires, dragons, or witches when I got here, but I had a basic understanding of what they were and how things worked for them—though Jaxon, Macy, and Flint have still blown my mind on several occasions.
But gargoyles? I’ve got almost nothing. Except that they don’t seem to like vampires much.
In fact, the extent of my knowledge about myself pretty much comes from studying the Cathedral of Notre-Dame in art class and from what I can remember of the Gargoyles TV show reruns I watched when I was little. My mom always got a little agitated when she found me watching that show… Now I can’t help but wonder if it’s because she and my dad knew what was coming.
It’s a horrible thought—the idea that my parents deliberately kept who I really am from me my whole life—so I shove it to the back of my head and force myself not to think about it. Because learning that I’m a gargoyle is bad enough. Learning that my parents didn’t care enough to prepare me for this? That’s unforgivable.
Or it would be if they were alive. Now that they’re dead…I don’t know. Something else to go in my growing “Shit I Don’t Have Time for Today” folder. Because dwelling on it now definitely isn’t going to help me.
Instead, I paste a huge smile on my face—a smile that I’m far from feeling right now—and walk straight up to the circulation desk in the center of the library.
Amka is there, thankfully, and she smiles at me just as widely—hers looks genuine, though, which is nice. “Grace! It’s so good to have you back.” She reaches across the desk and squeezes my hand. “How are you?”
I start to give her a trite answer—I’m good, thanks—but the warmth and concern in her eyes get to me, even though I don’t want them to. So instead of lying, I just kind of shrug and say, “I’m here.” Which isn’t exactly what I’m feeling, but it’s close enough to get the point across.
Her smile turns sympathetic. “Yeah, you are. And I’m really glad about that.”
And there she goes again, putting things in perspective for me really quickly. “Yeah. Me too.” My manners kick in a little belatedly. “How are you?”
“I’m doing well. Just getting the library in shape for the Ludares tournament. Teams like to meet in here to strategize before the big day.”
“What’s Ludares?” I ask. “And is that what that’s for?” I point to the table now taking up space in the center of the library. I didn’t get a good look at it on my way in, but I plan on checking it out later, when I need a research break. From what I saw, it’s filled with all kinds of interesting and magical objects.
“Originally, it was designed as a Trial to compete for spots on the Circle—the governing body for supernaturals—but…since no one on it has died in a thousand years, there haven’t been any new openings to compete for. Which means for now, it’s just a sporting event.
“Of course, the version of Ludares that’s the actual Test is a lot more dangerous than what we play now—and the odds are way stacked against the challenger’s success. Now it’s more for fun and to promote interspecies relations, since the teams are made up of all four of Katmere’s factions.” Her eyes twinkle. “It’s the highlight of every school year.”
“So how do you play?”