‘It’s the most wonderful gift I have ever received,’ she replied, and I think we all felt a bit sheepish about what we had given Nana. Her agent had made more of an effort than her own family. I had forgotten until now that he gave her the beautiful wooden Scrabble board. Before I can think too long about the significance of that, the home movie continues.
‘Thank you, I’ll treasure this always,’ Nana said. ‘I actually bought myself a gift this year too, and I wanted to share it with all of you before we start eating,’ she added with a mischievous grin, then shuffled out of the room. I noticed that her slippers matched her new dress, which was pink and purple and covered in tiny hearts. We all watched from the kitchen table as she wandered out into the hall before disappearing inside her library. She continued to talk to us the entire time, shouting a little in order to be heard.
‘Now, as all of you know – because I’ve complained about it often enough – things can get a little lonely here at times, when none of you come to visit and I am left alone with just my characters for company. I’ve checked the dates on all of your cards by the punch clock, and I’m not imagining being on my own more than before. So my gift to myself this year is a rather special one. I’d like you all to meet Poppins.’
The puppy on the TV screen is ridiculously cute, and so small, it’s hard to believe that she grew into the giant Old English Sheepdog currently sleeping in front of the fire, with hair so long now that it is plaited with ribbons to keep it out of her eyes. It’s also hard to believe that she first arrived at Seaglass all those years ago. The old dog managed to outlive Nana, which is something nobody would have predicted, not even a palm reader in Land’s End.
Miniature Poppins was passed around, and we all made a big fuss of her. I watched Nana’s agent as he smiled at the puppy, and decided that if Nana trusted the man with stars in his eyes, I would too.
‘If I write a story about the real Daisy Darker, will you really read it?’ I whispered.
He smiled again. ‘Yes. I promise that I will.’
‘Daisy, stop bothering the man with your silly stories,’ said my mother, passing Poppins to Rose – Nancy never had any real interest in dogs or books.
‘Oh, I don’t mind at all,’ Nana’s agent said with that kind smile of his. ‘Finding the stories hidden inside people’s heads is my most favourite thing to do.’
We look like a happy family on the screen, and it’s a nice memory to be reminded of. As usual the Halloween/birthday menu Nana had prepared for us all catered to her sweet tooth. That year we had chocolate chilli con carne for the first time, along with chicken and hot chocolate gravy, jelly babies and sweetcorn, chocolate-filled ravioli, fish fingers with sherbet lemon, white chocolate lasagne and cola bottle trifle. It all tasted a lot better than it sounds.
I watch, transfixed, as seventeen-year-old Lily picks up the camera from its tripod and films some close-ups of Poppins the puppy. Then there is a shot of Nana hugging me and whispering in my ear. I can still remember what she said.
‘I love you from here to the moon and back three times and once for luck.’
It was something she only ever said to me, and the memory of that moment haunts me.
The picture on the screen turns black. I’ve never seen anything that happened that evening captured on camera before. I didn’t know this tape existed until now, so I wonder if that’s all there is. But then an image of a beach at night appears, and a bonfire, and I don’t want to see any more. I don’t want to remember what happened next, or what I did. That night is why they all stopped speaking to me. It was the worst night of my life.
Thirty-six
31 October 3:55 a.m.
less than three hours until low tide
‘Maybe we shouldn’t watch any more of this tape,’ says Rose in a voice that doesn’t sound like her own. She remembers what happened that night too. So does Conor.
‘I agree. Several members of this family have died tonight, this isn’t the time for home movies,’ he says. But that isn’t why Conor doesn’t want to watch anymore.
I ignore them both and cross the room to take a closer look at the Scrabble board Nana’s agent gave to her that year. When I see what is on it the room seems to spin.
‘Did you do this?’ I ask Trixie, and she comes to stand by my side. We tend to be the only ones to play the game these days. Rose joins us to see what we are looking at, and frowns at the board.
‘Was this you?’ she asks our niece. ‘It’s really important that you tell the truth.’