She kept her gaze steady on Jaxon’s face. On her eyes. On her expression. She was adept at reading people. She had to be in her profession. She was always careful when reading tarot cards for people. They always said they wanted an honest reading, but there were times when honesty wasn’t what anyone was really prepared for. She couldn’t tell a mother her child wasn’t going to live through a devastating illness, not when the parents had come to her desperate to hear differently. She did her best to prepare them, but she wouldn’t come out and read the absolute grim reality.
There were so many instances when her intuition told her to walk softly. She always listened to that. She also watched for telltale signs the body gave. Right now, Jaxon was in the position Adalasia found herself in often—debating how much truth to give her.
Adalasia lifted her chin. “I’m tough, Jaxon. I might get shocked, but I’m tough.”
“That isn’t the question. I was tough,” Jaxon confessed. “Beyond tough. I still went down for a brief time.”
Her stomach knotted all over again. She pressed her hand there. Tight. What could possibly be so bad?
Do you have need of me? There are plenty of hunters. I like to keep my hand in, but it is not necessary. I will return to you, ewal emninumam. You have only to use our connection at any time, and I will come to you.
When Sandu poured into her mind like that, she welcomed him. She had realized how alone she felt even with Jaxon in the room. He gave her warmth and made her feel safe in an unfamiliar situation. She hadn’t realized until that moment how much the sharing of one’s mind could make one feel so close.
I’m fine. Getting to know Jaxon, she reassured him.
“Sandu explained to me that he is not a vampire but rather a Carpathian. He said he survives on blood but doesn’t kill when taking blood.” She needed confirmation. She didn’t know why. Had she grown so mistrustful of Sandu simply because he’d bound them together without her consent?
Adalasia rubbed her temples, frowning. It was more than that. He was keeping something extremely important from her. She knew he was, but she was just as guilty. She couldn’t exactly condemn him when she was doing the same thing.
“If one kills while taking blood, they would be giving up their soul and choosing to become vampire,” Jaxon said.
Jaxon wasn’t exactly volunteering information. Adalasia didn’t blame her. She wouldn’t want to be in her shoes, maybe accidentally saying something that would send Adalasia running from her lifemate. Jaxon could see she wasn’t as enamored with him as she should be—or at least she was still at a crossroads.
“I know you came here for answers, Adalasia,” Jaxon finally said. “But I have to ask you this. Do you have the absolute resolve to go forward no matter how difficult and terrifying the journey is? No matter where your path takes you?”
Adalasia’s heart went crazy, accelerating like a runaway train. She pressed her palm to her chest and took several deep breaths to calm herself. To slow her breathing. Sandu would notice if she kept it up, and she didn’t want him returning or monitoring the conversation.
“When I read the cards, they indicated more than once that my path, if I chose to take it with Sandu, would be extremely difficult and terrifying.” The admission came out a little strangled. Her hands were trembling so much she wanted to sit on them.
She looked around the library and took comfort from the old leather-bound books. She liked older things. She’d always been surrounded by antiques growing up. She knew them, their ages, their value, often their origins. Standing, she moved over to the bookshelves to the oldest-looking books kept behind glass. There were gloves sitting in a small jeweled case so fingers never touched those pages if one wanted to open the books.
“Yes, Jaxon, I’m resolved. I’m afraid of the truth, just as some of those coming to me for readings are afraid to hear what the cards say, but in my case, I prefer the truth. It might take me some time to fully get to a place of acceptance, but I will get there. I know that I stepped on the path willingly and began the journey with him. I have no intention of backing out. I was born for this, and I was trained from the time I was a child to be at his side when we get to the end.”
Adalasia turned to face Jaxon. “So, if you wouldn’t mind, please tell me what it is that Sandu isn’t telling me.” She knew it wasn’t fair to ask the other woman, but it wasn’t fair that she didn’t know.
Jaxon was silent for a long while. She sighed. “There are some things best to ask your lifemate. He can’t lie to you, Adalasia. He can try to sidestep answering you if you allow it, but he can’t lie to you. In the world I now live in, I have to abide by the rules. We can’t interfere in a relationship between lifemates. He bound you to him; that makes you his lifemate.”