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Darling Girl: A Novel of Peter Pan(31)

Author:Liz Michalski

“I’m so sorry,” Mallory says. “I had no idea he didn’t know about Grace House. When he came into the shop, he seemed so familiar, and then, when we started talking, I figured out who he was, and . . .” She shrugs apologetically.

“No, it’s fine,” Holly lies. “I’d planned on telling him this trip, it’s just . . . it’s a hard conversation. So many memories here. Not all of them good.” She stares hard at Mallory, gives the subtlest shake of her head, wills her not to speak Eden’s name. To her relief, the other woman nods.

“You’ve raised a lovely son,” she says. “I simply told him how much the village enjoyed having you here, all those years ago.”

“Thank you,” Holly says. She forces herself to put warmth in her tone, even if her gaze is cool. There’s a beat, where under normal circumstances she’d offer Mallory tea. Invite her in.

She doesn’t.

“Well, I really should be getting back,” Mallory says awkwardly. “It’s just me, so when I ran Jack down, I had to close the shop. I’d love to have you stop by sometime, when you have a moment,” she says. She fishes out a card case from her pocket, extracts one, and hands it to Holly.

“It’s the little bakery on the corner,” she says. “Right next to the pub. We provide the breakfast hampers for the inn where you’re staying.”

“How charming,” Holly says. She doesn’t ask about the bakery or inquire after Mallory’s uncle. So after a short pause, Mallory makes her goodbyes and drives away, leaving Holly to deal with Jack.

“So,” Holly says. So much for leaving him tucked up safely at the hotel. Round one to Jack. She can hear those wind chimes again, like musical laughter, and underneath them the rustle of the long grass in the meadow near the graveyard, as clear and distinct as a voice. She waits for him to say something, so she can gauge where to start, but he doesn’t speak, so she presses on.

“This is Grace House. We bought it as a summer home before you were born, and we came for weekends and whatever other time we could. Until the crash.”

She pauses, but there’s still no response, so she continues. “And then after, while you were recuperating, we moved here. Remember, the other day I told you we lived in Cornwall? I thought it would be a better place than the city for you. But it was a mistake. So we moved back to London, and then my little chemistry project took off and we went to America, for a fresh start.

“I’m sorry I never told you,” Holly says. Her words cover so many omissions, and even as she phrases her response to shield him from the past, she aches for all he doesn’t remember. The house. The glorious summers here. His sister. Forgetting is best for him, she knows it, and yet her apology is true. “I thought it would stir up memories of the car crash, and before. I didn’t want to make you sad.”

He looks at her, considering. “If we own this house, why aren’t we staying here, instead of at the hotel? And if you didn’t want to live here, why didn’t you sell it?” he asks finally. There’s no anger in his voice, only curiosity, and relief courses through her so hard her knees wobble. It’s proof he doesn’t remember, doesn’t know. Because if he did, he’d be furious.

She shakes her head. “I’m not sure,” she says honestly. She’s thought about selling Grace House a dozen times over the years, but what would she have done with Eden? Move her to London, to a nursing home that would ask too many questions? Take her to the States, where someone might make the connection between Jack’s injections and his forever-sleeping sister? No, this was better.

“I guess I was holding on to it,” Holly says, surprising herself. “Holding on to those memories from before, even if I couldn’t bear to actually think about them.” Eden’s never been the only reason she’s kept Grace House. She’s just been the only reason Holly could admit to.

The sound of the bells and the rustle of the grass in the graveyard are louder now, as if the ghosts from Holly’s past have decided they’ve been silent far too long, that now is the time to speak. They’re swirling around her; they’re calling out to Jack; they’re wanting to be heard.

But Holly won’t let them. To talk about Eden here, to remind Jack that his father and brother are buried around the corner from where he’s standing—it’s too much. All she’s ever wanted to do for Jack since the crash is to protect him, to take away the pain of those dark years and keep him safe. But the truth is, by not talking about them, she’s been protecting herself too. And she’s not ready to stop.

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