“About what,” he ground out. About how he hated having to pick her up on a date with a different guy?
She shrugged. “I don’t know. The one thing we’ve always been good at is talking. Hell, the first time we met we talked for three hours. Distract me from thinking about how I’m losing at this dating thing. Just don’t mention your antilove theory.”
“I don’t know why you’re going through all the trouble,” he burst out, “when we could—”
“Oh god, not again—”
“I’m just telling you the truth—”
“No, you’re telling me your version of the truth,” she shot back. Kareena’s voice had an edge to it now. It was an octave higher since she’d started talking. “You always forget that my stakes are a lot higher, so I’m not going to shake hands with you when I know that you’ll walk away whistling, and I’ll be left picking up pieces. Relationships and love are not a game to me.”
Prem swallowed hard, his hands gripped tightly on the steering wheel. He began to sweat. “Rina, I may have a reason for pushing hard, but I’m not playing games. That night in the bar? Last weekend in your shed? Those moments were real to me. What we have together may be short-lived, but it’s real. I’m sorry it’s taken me so long to admit that, but I’m putting all my cards on the table here.”
Kareena let out a frustrated growl that had his back going ramrod straight. “You don’t get to do that, Prem. You don’t get to send me flirty texts, take me out on dates, then tell me that our almost hookups were real to you,” she said, her voice raising with each word. “Not when I know that your plan is to lie about us getting married then break things off once you get your community center. That still leaves me at square one. No, square zero. Because our very public fight means we’ll have a very public breakup. So many Indian men are infected with misogyny, casteism, colorism, and internalized colonialism. And the ones left may not want the baggage!”
“Then focus on finding a stronger guy who can carry the weight,” he murmured.
“What, and that’s easy? Prem, damn it, I’m trying here. Being with you can ruin me.”
The very thought of hurting her was appalling. That was the last thing Prem wanted to do. Rina deserved to be happy, but he knew without a shadow of a doubt that there was no way she’d find it by going on a wild goose chase searching for love. And if she was being honest with herself, then she’d admit she knew that, too.
Prem turned at the next traffic light and tapped the horn when a delivery truck pulled out of a parking spot in front of him. “Rina, if you really want to find your true love, your mythical happily ever after, then why did you wait so damn long for it? Why is it all of a sudden so important to you?”
“Because I wanted to achieve my career goals first, and—”
“Bullshit,” he said, jerking the Audi around a double-parked car and easing into traffic. “I’m calling bullshit. If someone you really connected with had walked up to you in law school, would you have turned him away?”
“No, of course not, but—”
“And I bet if you had a connection with any of the people that you’ve dated since law school, you would’ve straight up eloped.”
Rina crossed her hands over her chest. “What are you getting at, Dr. Dil?”
“I’m trying to tell you that maybe love doesn’t exist! Maybe what you’re really looking for is connection. And you have that with me. You have a connection with me.”
“I don’t believe that,” she said, vehemently shaking her head. “I don’t believe that for a minute. I know better than you what I need, Prem.”
Prem let out a humorless laugh, and before he could stop himself, words kept tumbling out of his mouth. “Or maybe you don’t know what you need at all?”
She gasped like he’d just scandalized her in the worst way. “I know exactly what I need, Dr. Dil. I also know that connection does not make a relationship work, fake or otherwise.”
“Fine. If you’re so convinced that you and I don’t have a connection, then come home with me.”
“What?”
“Come home with me,” he repeated. Lust, frustration, and desperation fisted in his gut. He felt like he was fighting for his life here. “If we don’t have a connection, we’ll figure it out really quick. I can prove to you that we can be together, and love doesn’t have anything to do with it.”