at your best. Perhaps you should get some rest.”
“Sleep is the last thing on my mind.”
I know that. I need to get him onto the bed. “You need to relax. Here. Come,
sit.” I sit on the bed and pat a spot next to me.
He looks conflicted, pained. Maybe I shouldn’t have put the siren away so soon. But I will not be reduced to pulling her out again tonight. I’d have to be
truly desperate indeed.
“Don’t worry. I’m not going to hurt you,” I say.
He scoffs. “As if you could.”
I point to his side, where I cut him when we were on the island.
“I allowed you to do that.”
“Right. Because you’re so bold and brave. Come, sit. Even conflicted pirates
need a break.”
He finally yields. But he won’t look at me, and he’s ensuring there’s a good
foot between us on the bed. Interesting, since I already know what he really wants. He must be trying to stay away from temptation. If so, he shouldn’t have
relented the bed. That’s all the invitation I need.
“I imagine being the first mate is stressful for you,” I say.
“Why’s that?”
“Because you’re not the captain. I couldn’t stand being the first mate. I always have to have my way.”
He laughs.
“I like the freedom it gives me,” I continue. “You seem like you want more
freedom.”
“Am I so easy to read?”
I didn’t have to use my powers to learn that. Riden is easier for me to read than others. “At times. There’s more going on in here than you say.” I tap my finger once to his head.
He finally turns toward me at the contact. “How do you know so much? How
are you … you?”
“I am me because I choose to be me. I am what I want. Some people say you
have to find yourself. Not I. I believe we create ourselves to be what we want.
Any aspect of ourselves that we do not like can be altered if we make an effort.”
That might have been a bit much, but Riden eats it up. His eyes burn. They
really are a beautiful brown.
I reach out and grasp his hand with mine.
“What are you doing?” he asks.
“Nothing. I wanted to touch you, so I did.”
“Simple as that?”
“Simple as that.”
“I want to kiss you again.”
“So then why don’t you?”
“Because I can’t help you. All I can do is take but give nothing in return.”
I’m struck speechless by his honesty. Maybe not the honesty, but the sincerity
and selflessness in what he said. I’ve never heard a pirate say such a thing. It’s wrong. Uncomfortable. Almost makes me feel guilty for how I’m playing him.
Almost.
I slide closer to him, move my hand up to his face, and whisper, “But you are
giving. You’re distracting me from the fate that awaits me. That’s more than I could have hoped for.”
I lean forward and press my lips to his. Rather than kiss me back, he puts his
hand in my hair and says my name softly, with a touch of hopelessness.
I know he wants this; I just have to make him give in to it.
I lift up my legs and slide them over his lap, drawing him nearer to me at the
same time.
Though I’d die of embarrassment if anyone on my crew knew I said this, I add, “Please, Riden. I want this. Don’t you want this?”
That does the trick. I finally feel movement under my own lips. It’s soft, unsure. Curious to be coming from Riden, who has always seemed so sure of himself. Perhaps he needs some more encouragement.
I trace his upper lip with the tip of my tongue.
The change is instant. Before I know it, he’s got his hand at the back of my
head, the other on the side of my thigh. I move my lips down to his neck, teasing him in just the right places to get his heart pumping even faster.
But he’s done with letting me have all the fun. With a hand at my chin, he brings my lips back up to his. He takes control of the kiss, setting his own
rhythm and pace. I let him, give him a sense of control. I have a feeling he’ll need it, if I’m to get him right where I want him.
Riden removes his coat. Obviously, things are getting warm for him in here.
Good, one less thing I’ll have to remove for myself.
For a moment, I allow myself to get caught up in the kiss. It’s all for a greater purpose, but I can’t deny how different it is to kiss Riden than it was to kiss Draxen. Draxen felt wrong. Draxen is a selfish lover. That much was obvious.