CHAPTER TWO
Lindy had a hard time believing her childhood letters to Santa had any significance to her current messy life. Nevertheless, she was curious, and reached for the letter at the top of the box.
Opening the envelope, she pulled a single sheet from inside and spread it out on the table. In her childish, awkward print, she’d written:
Dear Santa,
Please bring me a daddy.
Lindy
Lindy glanced at her mother and smiled. “I didn’t ask for toys? I can remember wanting a bike around that time.”
“That came later. All you wanted that Christmas was a dad.”
“I don’t remember any of this.”
“Honey, you were only five. You’d started kindergarten, and for the first time noticed that the other children had fathers and you didn’t.”
Lindy shook her head. She had little recollection of that Christmas. What she did remember was that bike. As she thought back, she realized her mother was right in that all she had asked for was a dad.
“I remember when I read your letter. No way was I going to be able to give you a father. My heart sank,” her mother said. “The only man I’d ever loved had left me. I hadn’t heard from him since the day I told him I was pregnant. Through some friends of mine, I learned he’d married someone else shortly after you were born.”
“We were far better off without him.” Lindy believed that with all her heart. She wouldn’t have had the father who loved and raised her if this sperm donor had stuck around, although at the time she understood how his rejection must have badly hurt her mother. Over the years, Lindy hadn’t wondered about him herself. Because she was loved by the dad who’d adopted her, she’d never felt the need to know anything about the man responsible for her birth.
“We are much better off,” her mother agreed. “Of all the things you might have asked for, a father was the one thing I couldn’t give you. It broke my heart.”
“Oh, Mom, I’m so sorry.”
“You need to understand. That year, Christmas was bleak. My parents left to spend the holidays with my brother in Kansas, and it was just the two of us. With everything in me, I wanted to make this special for you, because you were going to miss Gamma and Papa.”
Lindy knew how dearly her mother loved Christmas, and how hard it must have been for her to be alone, instead of with her family. And then Lindy had to ask for the one thing her mother couldn’t provide.
* * *
—
Relaxing against the back of the chair, Ellen’s memories returned to that fateful Christmas. With her parents gone, she was alone over the holidays for the first time in her life. She’d done everything she could think of to make it as perfect as she could for her little girl. With a single income, making ends meet was difficult.
Christmas Eve she sat up until nearly midnight, wrapping the few gifts she was able to put under the tree for Lindy. All the while, she regretted that she wouldn’t be able to give her beautiful daughter the one thing she’d so desperately wanted—a daddy.
Trust was a huge issue with her, after what happened with Robbie. He’d said all the right things, lavished her with compliments, seduced her, and then, once he got what he wanted, he changed. His calls became infrequent, and when he did show up there was only one thing that interested him. All the signs were there, only she’d been blind. So blind. His promises were empty, and when she learned she was pregnant, the truth hit her square between the eyes.
How grateful Ellen was for her parents, who loved her and helped support her through the pregnancy. After Lindy was born, they’d helped her get into a small apartment. Robbie had abandoned her and claimed he wanted nothing to do with his daughter. With that attitude, Ellen made the painful decision to cut him completely out of their lives. Robbie was more than happy to sign away all parental rights, which meant he didn’t need to pay child support. Consequently, Ellen struggled financially.
Still, she’d been determined to make this a good Christmas for her daughter. Due to her parents’ generosity, there were plenty of gifts under the tree for Lindy to open.
Christmas morning, Lindy roared out of bed and raced barefoot to the Christmas tree, sliding toward it like she was running for first base. “Can we open gifts now?” she pleaded.
Ellen brewed herself a cup of tea and smiled as Lindy opened one small gift after another.
“Mommy, look, Gamma and Papa got me a baking oven!”
“Wonderful. You can bake a cake for our Christmas dinner.”