“I told her to fuck off and let me go. She jabbed me with a shock stick. I yelled at her, and she shocked me again, and again, until I stopped. It hurts so bad.”
“I know.”
“She didn’t let me out for—I don’t know how long. They had needles in me—for nutrition, she said. When I learned to behave, I’d get real food. So I said I would be, I pretended, and I got a uniform. You had to wear it during the day unless you were in the studio or had the sex classes.”
She knuckled her eyes. “They made you take off your clothes, or wear underwear and stuff so they could take pictures and vids. I tried to get away, but you couldn’t, and you’d get the stick, or they’d put you back in a room, the Meditation Box, in the dark, alone, locked in until whenever. They made you get into bed with another girl and sometimes a man and do things. I didn’t want to.”
“How many girls, Dorian? Can you tell me?”
“I don’t know, but a lot. They’d bring in new ones, and younger ones. Just little kids, and they were so scared. Or they walked around like droids, you know? We had to learn how to take care of our bodies, our hair, our skin—their way. If we screwed up, the stick. Even if you didn’t, sometimes one of them jabbed you anyway. They liked to.”
“How many of them?”
“I don’t know. We were on the Pretty Ones floor, and there were day matrons and night matrons. Usually one at night. And instructors. And the doctor, and some men—like guards. You had classrooms, I guess, and some of the girls from other floors got brought in for some of it, but they didn’t sleep on our level.”
She hitched in a breath, let it shudder out. “Can I have another fizzy? It makes my throat burn to talk about it. I’m sorry about before. I’m sorry.”
“Sure.” Mavis rose. “I’ve got it, honey bear,” she told Leonardo, then crouched down in front of Dorian. “I’m so sorry about what happened to you. They’re evil. They’re not even people, they’re just made of evil. You leave it to Dallas and Peabody. They’ll make them pay for all of it.”
“Do you need a minute?” Eve asked Dorian.
“No. I want to get it out. I want it over. I couldn’t get away. There wasn’t any way to get out, and I just mostly stopped fighting. They told us how we’d get rich masters and live in beautiful places. How lucky we were.”
She hitched in breaths as Mavis brought her another fizzy. Drank deep, breathed out.
“I’m not stupid, I knew what all that meant. I thought maybe when it happened, I’d kill myself if I couldn’t get away. Then Mina … I—I never had a friend like her before, not like Mina. She helped me, she talked to me, and it all felt better. She said we’d find a way out, and how her parents would help me. She has a little brother, and a family, and…”
She gripped the fizzy in both hands and rocked.
“Do you want me to finish it for you?” Sebastian asked her.
“No, no, I’m going to say it. Honor her, like you told me to.” Dorian swiped at her cheeks, drank again. “She figured out a plan. It was scary, but she figured it out. I had to steal the elevator pass from the night matron—that was my part, because I’m good at that. And she faked being sick so they’d take her down to the infirmary. I had to sneak out, go down in the elevator. If they caught us … But it was a good plan. She puked on the night nurse and put gum on the lock of the sickroom. And we met up at the elevators and went all the way down to the tunnels.”
“Tunnels?” Eve repeated.
“They brought girls in that way, and took out— Some of the girls died. Killed themselves, or they hurt them too much, and they took them out that way. We didn’t know where to go in them. We didn’t even know where we were, okay? We didn’t know we were in New York or, you know, freaking Alaska.
“We got down there and walked and walked, then we heard them coming, and we ran. There was a ladder on the wall, and we started up. But I fell. I fell and ruined everything.”
The words tumbled out now as she rocked and rocked.
“Mina got me out, and we hid, and it was raining so hard, but they were coming. I couldn’t run, so she did. She said she’d run and lead them away, and she’d get her parents to come and come back for me. She ran so they wouldn’t find me, and I heard her scream, but when I tried to get up and run to help, my leg … I fell and I hit my head.
“When I woke up, I didn’t know what happened. I didn’t remember any of it. I just hurt so much, and I didn’t know where I was. I walked and walked, and I stole some ice packs and meds and hid. I was so cold, so hot, so sick. And Mouser found me, and took me to Sebastian. He helped me. It’s not his fault, because I didn’t remember Mina or Auntie or anything. He helped me and nobody but Mina ever had before.”