The yacht organizer gives us the fakest smile of the year and goes back to tapping on his iPad.
“Kenapa?” Big Aunt says, and I shoot her a look that says “Later.” We struggle back up the pier with the cooler, and when we stop for a breather, I tell them about how Nathan had seen me and Fourth Aunt moving the cooler, and how he would definitely think it’s weird that we’re trying to move the same cooler again.
“Oh yes, that sweet boy,” Fourth Aunt says, grinning widely. “Very true, Meddy. I forgot about him.” She wiggles her eyebrows.
Ma looks back and forth between the two of us. “What? What is it?”
“Nothing!” I say hurriedly.
Fourth Aunt wiggles her eyebrows again.
“Obviously not nothing. What is it? Why you cannot tell your own mama?” Ma frowns, apparently hurt that I’m keeping something from her.
“Aiyo, San Jie, if your daughter doesn’t feel comfortable sharing secrets with you, you shouldn’t force her. Maybe that’s why Meddy doesn’t want to tell you these things,” Fourth Aunt says.
Aw, come ON! These sisterly rivalries are going to be the death of me. Plus, I tell Ma a lot of things. Okay, yes, I did keep my three-year relationship from her, but that’s different. I tell her everything else. I’m as close to her as any daughter can be. I’m the good, filial one, remember? I want to shout. I stayed behind while everyone else left. So maybe I don’t tell them everything, but what more do they want from me?!
“It’s nothing! He’s just someone I used to know. Anyway, we’ve got bigger problems right now.” I gesture to the cooler. “Maybe we should focus on this?”
“Yes, Meddy is right, you two can talk about where you failed as a mother later,” Fourth Aunt says.
For the love of god.
“Ma, I don’t keep any secrets from you, you know that.” Aside from Nathan. Literally the ONE secret I kept from her. I mean, I even told her about me killing Ah Guan. That’s got to count for something.
Ma doesn’t meet my eye. “I do everything for you, and this how you repay me? Begitu ya? What did I do to deserve such unfilial child?”
Heeere we go. “This is so not the time.”
“Then when is the time?”
“After we get rid of the guy I killed!” Oh god. I didn’t mean to say it quite so loud. But really, nobody drives me quite as nuts as Ma and my aunts. We all look around to see if anyone’s heard, but luckily, the place is relatively deserted. “Please, Ma, can we shelve this for now? I will tell you everything later, I swear. I desperately want to tell you, Ma, I really do, but now, let’s focus on cleaning this up, okay?”
With a sigh, Ma’s shoulders sag. “Okay,” she says in a small voice. “Where we take cooler now? Back to fridge?”
Big Aunt shakes her head. “Cannot, too many people. The head chef driving everyone crazy, people rushing in and out of fridge, looking here and there for truffle lah, for rosemary lah, for this for that, just matter of time before somebody open cooler.”
My phone boops with a text.
Seb [10:43AM]: There is waaay too much vomiting going on right now. Can we switch, please?
Me [10:44AM]: I’ll switch with you later. I’m in the middle of something.
Seb [10:45AM]: You’re not in the bridal suite?? Where r u?? She’s not going to be happy if you miss shots of her putting her veil on!
Me [10:46AM]: It’s an emergency. On second thought, can you cover for me? Go take pics of the bride. Sounds like you’re not getting any good ones of the groom anyway.
Seb [10:47AM]: Excuse you, I am getting fantastic shots of the groom and his idiots.
He sends a photo of some guy with his head in the toilet. Behind him, another guy is taking a shower, fully clothed.
Me [10:48AM]: Go to the bridal suite. I’ll see you in a few.
I stuff my phone back into my pocket and take a deep breath. We’re running out of time. Time. Time! “It’s time!” I cry.
The others look confused.
“Check-in time! Remember? They told us our rooms won’t be ready until ten? It’s past ten!” I could cry with relief. We’ll be able to store the cooler without worrying about someone stumbling across it. Maybe we’ll be able to get out of this unscathed.
15
The lobby is packed with aunties wearing Gucci pantsuits and huge visors, and uncles wearing Patek Philippe. All the handbags hanging off the aunties’ arms are Birkin or Kelly. No Louis Vuitton or Prada; this crowd is strictly Hermès. What is with the Chinese-Indo community and their hard-on for Hermès? It seems like all of the guests have arrived, even though logically I know this is untrue; most of them are due to arrive at 2 p.m., in time to check in and freshen up before cocktail hour. But the extended family members have arrived—the aunties and uncles and cousins who are due early for the tea ceremony—and in typical Chinese-Indonesian fashion, this means close to a hundred relatives, all of them arriving at the same time.