24
The whole entourage marches out of the bridal suite, making the spacious corridor seem cramped. Leading the charge are Tom and his dad, followed by the security team, followed by Jacqueline and Maureen, the latter’s arm still wrapped tightly around the former’s shoulders. Nathan and I follow behind everybody. I don’t even know how to process this mess of emotions raging inside me. Anxiety, stress, and anger, and of course there’s that familiar thread of whatever it is I still feel for Nathan. I ache to reach for his hand, feel the warmth of his fingers around mine. I want to fall into his arms and have him crush me in a strong embrace. But I don’t do either of these things. I keep my gaze straight and my chin up, and I follow the crowd of people who seem intent on having my head on a spike.
As we pass by the groom’s suite, the door slides open ever so slightly, and I almost do a double take when I see Fourth Aunt’s face behind the door, peeping out. She spots me and retreats into the room. I resume walking, my mind whirring madly. What’s going on? Why’s she in the groom’s suite? What does it mean? Are we about to find Ah Guan’s body still cooling in my bed? Oh my god!
I take my phone out, but there are no messages. Nothing. I’m about to send a text to Ma when I realize it’ll make me seem more suspicious. Plus, what if they check my phone and see that I’ve sent a message asking if “the thing has been moved”？ Then they’d assume I’m talking about the stolen goods.
“I’m so sorry about this,” Nathan murmurs.
I stuff the phone back into my pocket and mutter, “Don’t worry about it.” My voice comes out as though from afar. I barely recognize the sound. When we get to my room, one of the security guards glances back at Nathan, who nods with a sigh. The guard takes out a master key card and swipes it across the door lock. There’s the familiar whirr of the lock, and he opens the door with what seems like an unnecessary flourish.
This is it. The moment of truth. I step forward, but my legs have turned to water and they buckle. I’ve never lost control of my body like this before. Nathan’s arm shoots out, and I grab it.
“You okay?”
I nod. “Just tripped over the carpet.” Come on, insides. I imagine them turning to iron. To steel. But then I see all these people barging into my tiny room, my little room with the dead body inside, and my muscles go all papery again. I can’t go inside. I can’t. “I’ll just wait out here. Seems pretty crowded in there.” At least my voice comes out somewhat normal-ish.
Nathan nods and I hold on to his arm, so reassuringly solid and strong, the muscles underneath his shirt tight under my palm. He leads me to the wall and I lean against it, hoping I look relaxed instead of floppy. He reaches forward, as though about to brush a stray strand of hair away from my face, but stops at the last second.
“Nathan, I—”
A fire burns bright in his eyes, and he takes another step toward me. “Yeah?”
I what? My voice trails off. I love you? I haven’t stopped thinking about you since college? I have a corpse inside my room that you thought was my boyfriend but actually is just some dude I killed last night? I shake my head. “Nothing.”
The light dies away, leaving his face slack with disappointment. Guilt scratches away at me. But any moment now, those people inside my room are going to wonder why the strange man in my bed isn’t waking up with all the noise around him, and then—
“I’ll go in and hurry them along.” He strides into my room before I can answer.
I stay put, squeezing my eyes tight, hoping that my aunts and mother came through. Footsteps rush out, and my eyelids fly open. Maureen’s right in front of me, her face flushed, chest heaving.
“You’ve hidden them somewhere. You must’ve stashed them—” I can’t help but flinch away from the incandescent rage. “Where did you hide them?” she says.
In a flash, Nathan’s behind her, taking her by the shoulder and arm and pulling her away from me. “That’s enough,” he says, and his voice, though low, has a dangerous tone to it that silences everyone, even Maureen. “We’ve encroached on Meddelin’s privacy without any concrete cause and we’ve found nothing.”
Nothing. I swallow the huge lump in my throat, concentrating on not crying uncontrollably. They found nothing. Ma and the aunties have managed to get rid of the body in time after all.
“But she must’ve hidden them somewhere else!” Maureen cries. “Aren’t the rest of the vendors her family members? Maybe we should search their rooms too!”