“Can I come in?” he asks.
I step aside and he enters my room, closing the door behind him. The fleeting thought occurs to me that maybe this wasn’t entirely altruistic on his part. Maybe he’s here to ask me for money. Give me five hundred bucks or else I’m going to the police. Except I don’t really think that. He doesn’t seem like the type. After all, he didn’t even ask for money for the meals he made me.
“You heard that, right?” he says. “The police? Looking for you.”
I nod slowly. “Yes, I… thank you. I don’t know how I can ever repay you.”
He smiles crookedly. “I bet the guy had it coming.”
I drop my eyes. “He did. I promise you, he did.”
“Yeah, I, uh… I saw those bruises on your neck. Anyway, I just…”
“I’ll be okay. Really.”
“Okay then.” He glances out the window. “The plow arrived just before the police came. So in another fifteen minutes or so, you should be good to go.”
I nod again. I don’t think I can talk, because I’m going to start crying.
Nick wrings his hands together. “I don’t know where you’re going. It’s better if I don’t know. But… is there anything you need? Anything I can do to help?”
Don’t cry. Don’t cry. “No… thank you.”
He looks over at the fur-lined boots I wore earlier today. It almost feels like a million years ago. “You should keep the boots. Really.”
Well, that did it. Now I’m sobbing. I sink down onto the bed, my shoulders shaking as the tears pour down my cheeks. Nick looks a little panicked, but he sits down next to me and rubs my back.
“Hey,” he says, “it’s okay. I promise. It’s going to be okay. I won’t tell anyone. Greta won’t either.”
“I know.” I wipe my eyes with the back of my hand. “I just… It’s hard to leave everything behind. And you’re so… kind to me.”
“I’m just trying to help,” he says softly.
“I know, but…” I take a shaky breath. “When you’ve lived with somebody for so long who spends every waking moment plotting how to be cruel to you…”
He frowns. “I’m so sorry, Quinn.”
He’s calling me by my real name now, which he knows because of the police. The unfairness of it all hits me. Why couldn’t I have married a good guy like Nick? Why did I have to vow to spend my life with a narcissistic sociopath?
I look up into his brown eyes with my red, swollen ones. The kindness and concern in his eyes almost floors me. And before I entirely know what I’m doing, I lean forward and I press my lips against his.
Chapter 15
The kiss is over almost before it’s begun. A split second after my lips make contact with his, Nick jumps away from me like I’ve just scalded him. He’s staring at me, his eyes wide.
“Jesus Christ, Quinn! What are you doing?”
I should never have done that. What a horrible mistake. All the kindness and concern has disappeared from his face. “I’m so sorry. I just—”
“I’m married.” As he says the words, he glances out the window, at his own house across the way. At that one glowing light. “I love my wife, okay? Jesus Christ, what were you thinking?”
“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to—”
“You’ve got to leave.” He rakes a hand through his hair. “You’ve got to get out of here. Now.”
“Listen, the boots—”
“Take the boots,” he says through his teeth. “I don’t care about the fucking boots, okay? You’ve got to go though. I… I covered for you with the police. Now you have to go.” He backs up against the door. “Please.”
“Yes, of course,” I say stiffly. “I’ll go now. As soon as the plow is done. Okay? I don’t want to make trouble for you.”
“Right.” His hand grips the doorknob behind him. “Then don’t.”
With those words, he yanks the door open and gets the hell out of my room.
I didn’t think it was possible, but I feel even worse than I did five minutes ago. What was I thinking? The poor guy was just trying to help me, and then I launched myself at him. As he pointed out to me, he’s married. All those years, I blamed Derek for cheating on me, and look what I did when I had the chance. I kissed another woman’s husband.
And not just another woman. A woman who is ill. Who is counting on him to take care of her, who can’t fight back. I am a horrible person. I deserve everything coming to me.