And then I start to cry.
_____
Ironically, the first time I met Derek, I wasn’t attracted to him at all.
It’s strange because of… well, how handsome he is. Was, I should say. He walked into our little New Hampshire bank, lighting up the entire room with his gleaming chestnut hair, deep brown eyes, and perfectly chiseled features. He filled out his Armani suit like he was poured into it. Every item I owned in the world combined, including my freaking car, was worth less than that suit.
Melody, who sat at the desk next to mine, nudged me hard and licked her lips. I was secretly hoping Derek would sit down in front of Melody’s desk. But no. He chose mine.
Derek explained his situation to me. His family owned a rather large Boston-based business and was looking to expand to the rest of New England. When he said the name of the company, my mouth fell open. My first instinct was that our bank was too small and he was too big a fish. But he was hoping for the personalized service that our small bank would provide.
That is to say, he hoped we would fall all over ourselves to help him.
The vice president of the bank came out to meet with him personally. When he found out that I was the one dealing with Derek, he gave me a meaningful look. Be really nice to this one, Quinn.
So when I had finished setting up an account for Derek and he asked me out for drinks after work, I said yes. After all, I had to be nice.
I was single at the time. And Derek was so nice and charming when we went out for drinks. I didn’t quite trust him, because how could you trust somebody with so much money who looked like that? You would have to be stupid not to have a healthy dose of skepticism. But over the evening, he wore me down. When he asked if I would have dinner with him on Saturday night, I agreed.
Only six months later, he asked me to marry him. Six months after that, we tied the knot. The entire year, it was like floating on a cloud. Derek was the most wonderful man I had ever met.
It wasn’t until after we were husband and wife that everything changed.
Derek had been shopping for a new bank, but in retrospect, what he really had been shopping for was a wife. He took one look at me and decided I fit the bill. I still don’t know what it was about me that drew him to me. Or maybe it was all just dumb luck. Maybe if he had sat in front of Melody’s desk, she would be the one now speeding towards the state line.
I wish it could have been different. I wish Derek had been the man he promised to be. Or better yet, I wish I had listened to Claudia and stayed the hell away from him.
But it’s too late now. I have no choice but to play with the cards I’ve been dealt.
Chapter 4
The gas tank is just about empty. There are usually twelve dots on the gas gauge, and I’m down to the last dot. I don’t know how long one dot will last, and I don’t want to know. I need to get some gas—now.
I’ve been on the highway for about half an hour, and I look for signs for the next rest stop. I’m looking for the tiny signs—the stops where almost nobody gets off, where I’m least likely to be spotted. Not that I think anybody is looking for me yet, but I don’t know for sure.
When I see the tiny sign for Rocco’s Gas Station, I pull off the highway. When I drive into the two pump station, I’m relieved to see it’s exactly what I’m looking for. A quiet little self service station, with a tiny store attached and an elderly man sitting at the counter. There’s only one other car at the station—a gray pickup truck that looks like it’s seen better days.
I park my car at the remaining pump and pop the lid for the gas tank. I zip up my black coat and throw on my hood, then step out into the cold. Droplets of freezing rain immediately smack me in the face. I barely feel it though. I’m not feeling much of anything anymore.
You’ve made a fool out of me for the last time, Quinn.
I can hear his last words so loudly, it’s like he is speaking in my ear. I can’t stop imagining Derek coming at me. The rage on his face. He was convinced I was cheating on him, even though I never looked at another man. I was too scared to even talk to another man. Once Derek came to see me at the bank, and he “caught” me talking to an attractive male client—he was beyond furious about it that night. It didn’t help that Derek himself had once been my client. Ever since then, I tried to send any male customers who weren’t elderly over to one of my coworkers.
But I’m safe now. He can’t get to me.
Never again.
I insert my credit card, select regular, and fill up my tank. This will be the last time I use my credit card. There’s an ATM in the gas station store, and I’m going to take out as much money as it will let me. Then that’s it. I’m going off the grid.