“Yeah…” I stare back at my reflection. My lips are a straight line. I don’t look like a woman who is overjoyed that she’s about to get married. “I just… I wonder if this is a mistake.”
“A mistake!” Lucy bursts out. “How could you say that? Graham is wonderful! If I knew what a great guy he was, believe me, I wouldn’t have turned him down when he asked me out!”
I grimace. This isn’t the first time Lucy has reminded me that she was Graham’s first choice. Of course, I was with Harry back then. Engaged. I had thought Harry would be the one I’d be joining hands with after walking down the aisle. The thought of it being anyone but him fills me with overwhelming panic. I know I told him I never wanted to see him again, but I’m worried I’ve made a horrible mistake.
“I want to call Harry,” I blurt out. “Right now.”
Lucy’s eyes fly wide open. “You’re joking. You’re really still having feelings for him after what he did to me? After the way he betrayed you?”
“Lucy, where’s my phone?” My fingers fly over the vanity table, reaching for it. “I need to talk to him.”
Before I can reach my phone, Lucy snatches it up, holding it out of my reach. “No. I’m not going to let you mess this up for yourself. You can’t call Harry. I won’t let you make the biggest mistake of your life.”
Before I can hear my reply, the dressing room fades away to white, and suddenly, I’m back on the street again, my fingers wrapped around Ziggy’s leash. Lucy is next to me, back in her work clothes rather than the purple frock, and she’s shaking my shoulder.
“Tess!” Her green eyes are wide. “Tess, are you okay?”
I blink at her. I open my mouth but it takes another few seconds for me to get out any words. “What happened?”
“You… you just…” Lucy chews on her lower lip. “You zoned out for like ten seconds. I think it was a seizure.”
I almost drop Ziggy’s leash. “A seizure?”
“You have them sometimes.” She shrugs like me having a seizure is no big deal. “I would have thought you just zoned out a bit, but you had one once while Graham was around and he told me that’s what it was.”
“Does this happen to me a lot?”
She nods. “A fair amount. But I’ve never seen it happen to you while we were walking. Are you okay?”
I feel dizzy, but otherwise not too bad. But then I attempt to take a step and my knees wobble. “Maybe we should head home.”
“Of course.” She rubs my shoulder. “Let’s get you home right away.”
As we continue our circle around the park in the direction of my house, I noticed that the park has a dog park inside of it. As I look at the dog park, I get this strange feeling, like a snapshot of a memory.
Did something happen inside that dog park?
“Lucy,” I say. “Do I ever take Ziggy to the dog park?”
Her brow wrinkles. “I think so. Why?”
I stare at that dog park, imagining Ziggy bounding through the dirt on the ground. Something happened in this dog park. But I can’t quite retrieve the memory. It’s so frustrating.
The last thing I remember before this morning was going to sleep next to Harry, but that was years ago. Nearly a decade of memories have somehow just vanished. But have they vanished? Or are they just below the surface, waiting to be retrieved?
Chapter 31
Lucy decides to stay for dinner. Camila has made us steaks with a side of mashed potatoes and asparagus. Graham and I are seated across from each other, and Lucy is between us, at the head of the table.
“Graham,” Lucy says, “did you have a chance to see The Ivory Castle?”
Graham’s eyes light up. “I did. It was great, wasn’t it? A haunting performance by Higgins.”
I slice into the filet mignon Camila has placed on my plate. She said that they were cooked medium rare, but as the butter knife slices through the meat, it looks much closer to rare. It’s outright bloody. But Lucy and Graham don’t seem bothered by it. Maybe Graham likes his steak rare. How would I know—this morning, I couldn’t have even told you his name.
“I thought Charlie Devine was amazing as Roger,” Lucy says. “He is such a great actor.”
“It’s a shame about his personal life,” Graham says.
Lucy giggles. “Do you believe those rumors?”
“Hard not to…”
The two of them chatter on about this actor Charlie Devine, who I never even heard of, and some rumor about him and some other actress I also never heard of. I don’t have any hope of participating in this conversation. So I mostly focus on eating my mashed potatoes and asparagus. And also, eating the part of my steak that isn’t still mooing. Mostly the edges.