“Stop right there,” Joe said. “Electroshock therapy? No, no way. Not happening. Absolutely not.”
“Joe,” his father said. “I had my doubts too at first until it was explained to me. Believe me, Dr. Jensen has your best interests at heart. It’s an extreme therapy, but yours is an extreme case. You’ve said yourself that none of the talk therapy or medication made a bit of difference. I’ll come up today and drive you back to Trendale, and Dr. Jensen can explain it to you himself.”
Joe knew better than that. Once he was inside the facility, there would be no turning back. He still remembered the feeling of being locked up, unable to leave. Having his long-lost grandmother show up was a lucky break. Nothing like that was likely to happen again.
“How about I come home and get some sort of outpatient treatment?” he said. “There has to be a doctor in the area who will see me.”
“I’m sure there is.” His father sighed. “But I think we’re beyond outpatient, don’t you?” His father had a habit of voicing his opinion as a question. It was damn annoying.
“I don’t feel like I’m beyond anything,” Joe argued. “Being in my own home will provide me with the security and family support I didn’t have at Trendale.” He’d picked up some of the staff lingo and now used it to his advantage, lobbing it back as a defense.
The conversation went back and forth then, with Joe downplaying his nighttime terrors and making a case for coming home to deal with his problems and his father insisting he needed to be back at Trendale getting professional help. “It’s the only way.”
Finally, Joe said, “Are you saying I absolutely can’t come home?”
“I’m saying you can’t come home yet.” The emphasis on the last word was exaggerated. “Not until you finish your treatment plan at Trendale.”
What his father didn’t seem to understand was that the treatment plan was nothing official. Dr. Jensen had been stymied by Joe’s issues and now was just making stabs in the dark. The doctor had messed around in Joe’s head long enough. Joe wasn’t going to be his lab rat anymore. “I won’t be doing that.”
“Then I’m sorry, son, you can’t come home. It’s not just about you and me. I have Linda and your mother to think about.”
“What about them?”
“When you cry out at night, it terrifies them, and I find it disturbing as well. You’ve never heard it, so you’ll have to trust me on this. The voice doesn’t sound like you.”
Joe said, “I can’t control that. You know I’d never hurt Linda or Mom. The idea is ridiculous.” He got his father to agree that Joe himself was not violent, but still, he could tell that wouldn’t sway him.
His dad said, “Nothing else has worked. The electroconvulsive therapy is worth a try. It could be the answer.”
“Or it could be a big mistake.”
His father kept on arguing its merits as if Joe hadn’t even spoken. By the end of the conversation, they each knew the other wasn’t going to yield. There was no compromise between allowing an electric current to pass through his brain and leaving his brain just as it was. He did manage to say, “Thanks for telling me your thoughts, Dad. Give Mom and Linda my love.”
“I will. Let me know what you decide to do. I’m open to helping if you change your mind, and if you’re smart, you will.”
He sounded so smug that Joe knew his father was counting on him to have no other options. He’d wait for Joe to call back, asking for forgiveness and saying he’d try the electroconvulsive therapy. What he didn’t know was that Joe would sleep in a ditch before going back to Trendale. It was never going to happen. No way, no how. There had to be a better answer. If it took the rest of his life, he’d find it.
He called Wayne next, catching him right before he was out the door to work. He’d written Wayne a letter shortly after being checked in at Trendale, but that was where they’d last left off. Now he explained everything that had happened since then, including being rescued by the grandmother he’d thought was dead. Wayne listened, fascinated. When Joe asked if there was any way he could get his old job back, Wayne laughed. “You gotta be kidding me, Joe. Do you know how pissed off the boss was when you just didn’t show up? He couldn’t believe you bailed on him after he took a chance hiring you with no experience.”
“Did you explain what happened?”