At Paige’s work desk, I sifted through the piles of paperwork, searching for the order she was working on. I’d need to call the customer to explain that there’d been an emergency and that the order might be delayed, but, unable to figure it out, I left the barn, wondering when Paige would be coherent enough to tell me.
By the time I got back, Morgan was in the kitchen, heating more water for her tea. Soaking up the sight of her, I remembered how she’d felt in my arms last night, and moving her hair aside, I kissed her on the back of her neck.
After she finished her second cup, we set out on our tour. I let her walk through one of the prairie schooners, past the clucking chickens, then showed her the facility where we checked and packaged the eggs. I guided her through the greenhouse, then showed her the facilities where we readied the tomatoes for shipping and the warehouse where we dried the tobacco leaves. We stopped by the main office—I called it paperwork central—and strolled through the tomato and tobacco fields, before I finally allowed her to shoot video of me driving a tractor. Aside from Toby, the workers went about their business, offering nothing more than a good morning or wave from afar, but I nonetheless felt their curious glances. It took me a little while to realize it was probably the first time any of them had seen me walk around the farm with a woman other than my aunt or my sister. Michelle had never been interested in the specifics of my daily life.
We had an early lunch at a place called Down on Main Street, in the heart of the waterfront district. Though the food was appetizing, I was too tense to eat, and I’m pretty sure Morgan felt the same way, since she mainly picked at her salad. Afterward, we strolled hand in hand toward the waterfront, with its gorgeous views of the Pamlico River, the water glittering beneath a cloudless sky. In the middle of the river, a sailboat rode the gentle breeze, moving slowly, as though in no rush to go anywhere at all.
“Have you given any more thought to coming to Nashville with me?” she asked, stopping to face me. “I mean, I know I shouldn’t even be talking about this right now, and I understand that it might be a while before you could get there, but you never really answered me.”
In the glinting sunlight, I could see tiny flecks of hazel in her eyes, something I’d never noticed. “I don’t think I can. I don’t see how I can leave my aunt and my sister when they need me most. I left for three weeks and look what happened.” They were some of the most painful words I’d ever said in my life.
“Yeah,” she said. Her eyes looked wet. “That’s what I thought. But you’ll come visit me, right? After I settle in?”
I hesitated, wishing we could talk about anything else, wishing that so many things in my life were different.
“I’m not so sure that would be a good idea…” I offered, trailing off.
“Why wouldn’t it be a good idea? Don’t you love me?”
“Of course I do.”
“Then we’ll do the long-distance thing. In this day and age, it’s easy. We can FaceTime, we can visit each other, we can call and text…”
She reached up to turn my face to hers, and I responded by tucking a strand of hair behind her ear. “You’re right. We can do those things. I just don’t know if we should.”
“What on earth are you talking about?”
I brought my lips together, wishing more than anything that I didn’t have to say the words that I knew would be coming next. “When I was at the hospital, I had a lot of quiet time to think about you and me and the future, but no matter how I tried to imagine it, my thoughts kept circling back to the idea that, from now on, we’re going to be living in two very separate worlds.”
“So what?”
“Those worlds won’t ever come together, Morgan, which means that it would always be long distance for us. You’re going to Nashville, and as for me, I can’t leave my aunt. I can’t leave Paige, and as far as the farm, it’s the one thing I know I’m good at. It’s what I do.”
“But you have gifts as a singer and songwriter that you can’t ignore. You saw the crowds at your shows in Florida. You saw how people reacted to what you were doing…” Morgan’s voice was edged with irritation.
“Even if that’s true, it doesn’t matter. Who would take care of my family? You and I are different, and what does that mean for us in the long run? Do we stay together with the knowledge that we’ll lead mostly separate lives, where we can only see each other every now and then? And if so, for how long? A year? Five years? Forever? Long-distance relationships work when they’re temporary, but with us, it would never change. I’m stuck here, maybe permanently, but you have your whole life in front of you, and the world is waiting for you. And, most importantly, is that the kind of relationship that you want? One where we barely see each other? You’re only twenty-one…”